Some Things to Consider When Developing a Visitation Schedule that Works for Your Family

There are a number of things that you must taken into consideration when developing a visitation plan. First and most importantly, you must consider whether there is a risk for abuse from your ex. If there is a risk of child abuse, the court can mandate either no visitation or supervised visitation. If the abuse is directed at you, the alternative may be to complete the child exchange in a public place or by a third party. If abuse is involved, I encourage you to seek assistance from the legal system when developing your visitation plan. In this case it is good to have it in writing.

Other things to consider when developing your visitation plan are: the activity schedule for you and your children, and parent's job constraints including hours worked and travel. If at all possible, schedule some time every once in a while when you all do something as a family, just to let your children know that you can still get together without all hell breaking loose. This will go a long way in preventing the children from playing you against each other to get what they want.

If you are having difficulty with either developing a visitation plan or one parent is not following through with the plan, there is some great software available to help out with this task. It allows you to develop the plan by inputting all of your information and provides you with several options to choose from for your family. You can also print a schedule for all parties. I believe that this can eliminate any confusion about whose day it is to have the children. Many times, I have sat wiping children's tears away when parents had gotten confused about whose turn it was to pick up the children. I believe that if these programs can prevent those tears from falling, they are well worth the money. Custodyxchange (which has an online component and a portion of it is a free download), Kidmate and
Custody Toolbox 2 by five o’clock software seem to all have good reviews.

A last thought about visitation. As the children get older, it is important to revisit your visitation schedule. Teenagers are busy developing their independance through activities and friends. They want to spend less time with their parents whether their parents are divorced or not. Try not to take this personally because it is a natural part of their development toward adulthood. Forcing them to maintain the visitation schedule that worked when they were young children may meet with much resistance.