Time Management: Step 2

Step 2 to teaching your child to manage theirr time is "balancing the time budget".  Just like money, time needs to be balanced.  There are twenty-four hours in a day, never any more.  Your child will need to learn how to balnce there day in order to fit in all the things they want to do.  Their budget will cover the entire twenty-four hours because they have included the necessities of life (sleep, eating and cleanliness) on their list of things to do.

Begin by having your child assign times for each of the things on the list that they developed in step 1.  They may need to do this for each of the days of the week, as their activities may not always be the same.  Add up the amount of time needed to do all the things listed.  If the amount of time required comes in under 24 hours, they're done.  If the time comes in over twenty-four hours, they will need to revisit their list and cut back on or eliminate certain activities in order to fit the twenty-four hour time allotment.  Many children will try to cut back on sleep, but this is not a good idea as someone who is sleep deprived is less efficient and will take more time to do things.  This may be a good lesson for adults to learn as well.

Time Management: Step 1

Help your child to develop a list of their "Have to Do's", "Want to Do's" and the "Things I Need to Do to Get Me Where I Want to Be in the Future" (goals).  Make sure that they include sleeping, eating and personal hygiene on their "Have to Do's" list.

It May Be More Important Than Every to Teach Our Children about Time and Money Management

Given the world's bleak financial outlook and employer's expectation of increased productivity, teaching our children about time and money management may be more important than ever.  Even if you find that you are anything like me, and find yourself falling short on your own skills in these two areas, you still can teach your children a better way.  You may find that by teaching your children these skills, you may improve your own skills.  Keep in mind the best way of teaching children lessons is to be a good role model.  Children do not always listen to what we say, but they are always attentive to what we are doing.

This series will include ideas on how to teach these skills to your children, as well as some fun activities to help your child put these skills to use.

Bullies Will Not Change Their Behavior Just Because They are Disciplined by the School

If you are looking to the school to take care of your child's bullying problem, you are looking in the wrong place.  I say this as someone who has developed bully prevention programs in several schools and been involved many times in the disciplinary action of bullies.  Disciplining the bully doesn't stop the bullying!!  Bullies bully because they get something out of it, and as long as they continue to be reinforced to bully, they will bully.  This is human nature 101.  If a behavior is being reinforced it will be repeated.  So the key to stopping bullying doesn't lie with the school disciplining the bully, but the victim and the bystanders changing their reaction to the bullying. 

Start by helping your child understand that the goal of the bully is to obtain a reaction and wield power over their victim and the bystanders.  Check out the series that I did on Bully Prevention for ways to empower your child if they are being bullied.

In closing, I want to say that the people who have the biggest impact on the bully's behavior are not the victim or the schools, they are the bystanders.  Teach your child what to do if they find themselves witnessing someone being bullying.  If they don't want to get involved, remind them that they may be the bully's victim tomorrow.  What can the bystander do:  Speak Up, Speak To, Speak Out.  For more information about what to teach your child about being a bystander, visit my series on bully prevention.

Making Bath Time Lots of Fun for You and Your Baby

There are some key steps to follow to help make bath time fun for you and your baby.  Preparation, warmth, toys and a calm parent are a must.  Prepare all that you will need for the bath and it's aftermath before undressing your baby.  Be sure you include clothes to dress them into after their bath, to ensure a fast and easy transition from the tub into the warmth of clothes.  Babies don't like to be cold, so make sure that your bathroom is toasty enough to keep them from shivering when they come out of the tub dripping wet.  I don't know about you, but I really hate getting out of the tub when the bathroom is cold.  Toys are an excellent distraction in the tub.  They make getting your baby washed a whole lot easier.  Playing with them in the tub may also increase their comfort with the bath and the tub.  When it is time to get out of the tub, make sure that you take your baby out of the tub before you pull the plug as it may scare them.  The last and maybe most important suggestion that I would like to make is that you remain calm during the bath.  If you are getting frustrated and aggravated,  you can bet that your baby is too.  Setting up a washing routine may help keep you both calmer.  Washing in a particular order will help your baby build a routine for bathing.  I found that washing their hair last worked best with my children.  Find the routine that works best for your babies bath time and then stick to it.

Changing Two Little Words in Your Vocabulary Can Eliminate Much of Your Family's Holiday Stress

During the holiday season stress can reach an all time high in the lives of many of of our families.  Changing two words in our vocabulary, and our children's  vocabulary may make all the difference.  Replacing the words "need-to" or "have-to" with "choose-to" in our vocabulary gives us a sense of power over what is going on in our lives and therefore reduces our stress.  Start yourself thinking that everything in life is a choice.  Even going to work is a choice.  You choose to go to work so that you get paid and you don't get fired.  Sounds to simple to be true, give it a try and see if it makes a difference in your family's stress level this holiday season.  What could it hurt to try,  I hope it makes as much of a difference in the your family's stress level as it does in mine.  The only problem with this technique is that I sometimes slip back into my "have-to" ways when I am really busy and must remind myself, or have my children remind, that everything is indeed a choice.

Do Our Most Beloved Children's Books Really Send Dark Messages to Our Children

I am of the belief that the greatest gift that you can give your child is a love for reading.  I have always included books on my gift givinng list for my own children even now that they are adults.  Some of my favorite books that I read to my children are getting a bad rap.  People are finding all kinds of hidden meaning in some of the most well loved children's books of our time.  Here are a few examples.  These are excerpts from an article by Lisa Belkin, and are opinions that I do not share.

Some people take away the heart warming message of a parent's limitless love for a child when reading the Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, and others see a story of a mother willing to literally let her child chop her into pieces.

The Rainbow Fish by Marc Pfister  has the hero of the fish tale giving away all his scales to his fish friends so they will like him, and is really a mixed up warning not to be different.

The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss is seen as the story of a home invasion, during which a fish is terrorized...It is also a book that illustrates lying to mom.

I can't include any more of these because I am starting to get angry.  My only comment about this attack on these beloved books is that if you look hard enough at anything you will find some deep dark meaning behind it.  Take these books for what they are, wonderful ways to introduce your child into the awesome world of reading, be assured that  that is how your child is seeing them.

Some Thoughts about Getting a Pet For Your Children

If you are thinking about getting your children a pet during this holiday season, here are some things that you will need to consider.  The age of your children.  Are they going to be able to take care of the pet themselves?  Are they old enough to handle the pet without hurting it?  The amount of time that the family spends out of the house.  Will the pet be spending a lot of time alone in the house?  Some types of pets will act out if left alone for long stetches during the day and other types do not.  What is your role going to become with regard to care of the pet.  When the novelty wears off and the children begin spending less time caring for the pet are you willing to step in and either get them to do it or do it yourself.

I hope that if you are thinking about adding a dog or a cat to your family, that you consider visiting a shelter or a rescue facility instead of going to a pet store.  There is a large need for homes for these unwanted pets and they do have a fairly good selection of breeds, puppies and even pure breds.  I rescued my dog Oreo.  She is the sweetest, most adorable little dog ever (not that I am bias).  When she came to us, she had already been trained to go outside to do her business and knew how to walk on a leash.  Win-win.  I did visit a number of places before finding her, but the search was worth it.

It's the Gift Giving Season Again...and Kid's Have All Kinds of Visions In their Heads

It's the gift giving season again and if you have children on your list, you may be wondering what you should get them.  They want all the things that are advertised on tv, but are those gadgets right for them?  A good rule of thumb when looking for a gift for a child is to check the recommended age on the package.  If the child you are buying for falls out side that age range, the toy is probably not right for them right now. 

I always thought that this advice was just for the parent who was looking to purchase a gift that was meant for an older child, but now I realize that this tip works the other way too.  A friend of mine was looking to purchase a Thomas and friends motorized car for her nephew who is almost four.  Her nephew saw it on TV and had to have it.  When I went to help her get it, we found that it was for toddlers up to 24 months.  Happy ending though, there was a Thomas Big Wheel that was just right for his age and it makes all sorts of interesting sounds.

When picking out gifts for children, keep in mind the fairytale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.  Find a gift that is "just right" for the child that you are getting it for.

First Crohn's and Colitis Awareness Week Begins Today

The week of December 1-7 has been designated as the very first Crohn's and Colitis Awareness Week. The Senate passed Resolution 199 in order to encourage all Americans to join in the effort to find cures for Crohn's and colitis, help raise awareness, and support research.  This a big deal at my house, as my son was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease over 12 years ago.  Crohn's and Colitis are autoimmune diseases that effect the bowel.  Twelve years ago, few people knew anything about these diseases, but now practically everyone knows someone who suffers from these diseases.  The increase in the number of people with these diseases has been immense.  It use to be a disease that the primary age at onset was between 18 and 21.  Recently there has been a spike in the number of young children being diagnosed with this life changing disease.  Many people believe that the increase in incidents of these diseases may be related to how we process our food and dairy products.  The low number of cases in underdeveloped countries supports this theory.  If your child or someone you know suffers from either of these two diseases direct them toward a couple of groups that have been life savers for my family:  the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation whose primary functions are to educate people on how to manage this disease and to raise funds for research, and Get Your Guts in Gear (GYGIG) which is an inspiring non profit organization thats primary goal is to raise awareness and build a community of people helping each other deal with the day to day living with these diseases.  GYGIG holds multi day bike rides each year in order build that community, and a large number of the riders have these diseases. The message that they are sending is that this disease is not going to beat them down. If you are more like me in thinking that people who choose to ride a 160 miles on a bike over two days have a screw or two loose, there are always crewing positions available. Crewing, camping, building community and making lifelong friends in just two days time...amazing.