Some of the nastiest fights that I have ever seen have involved a custody dispute. Why is it that custody issues are some of the toughest and most vicious decisions to be made in a divorce? The choice should be easy since there are only a few options to choose from and usually one parent has already been doing the lion’s share of the parenting. The answer is simple, emotions get in the way. The bad feelings surrounding the pending divorce affect the ability to make a rational decision. Often times we find ourselves trying to get back at the other person, either consciously or unconsciously, by using the children as leverage. Being aware of these emotions may help you stay focused on what’s important to consider when making this decision, what’s in the best interest of the children. Even if only one of you stays focused on what’s important and checks your emotions at the door, you will make a better decision regarding custody.
The best people to make decisions about children are their parents. Often times it is the courts that are left to make these vital decisions for children because the parents are unable to come to an amiable decision. Before you allow a judge to make this decision, consider that they base their decision on the limited information that has been collected for them. You know your children best! You know what each of your children’s needs are, the strengths and weaknesses of both parents, and family schedules. Clearly the two of you are better prepared and more knowledgeable than the courts to make this life changing decision. Having said that, if you are unable to put your bad feelings aside this decision will be best left up to the judge.
No comments:
Post a Comment