Some Suggestion for Grandparents who are Not in their Grandchidren's Lives

Being a grandparent is one of the best experiences in my life. I am sad that their are some grandparents who are not permitted to or chose not to be a part of their grandchildren's lives.

If you are choosing not to be a part of their life due to choices that their parents made, I would like you to consider that the child was not the one to make those choices. In today's society, children need all the positive support that they can get. Most households have two working parents and parents are not able to attend all of those special events at school or daycare. Recently I attended a Halloween parade at my grandson's daycare and  today I am going to my granddaughter's school to share a birthday lunch with her. I see these as a win-win for myself and my grandchildren. I wish this for all grandparents.

If you are not allowed to be a part of your grandchildren's lives because of bad choices you made, consider making amends with their parents. They may not believe you at first but keep trying. What you gain will far exceed any discomfort that you feel doing this. If the things in your past are to bad to make amends for, consider keeping a journal about your feelings with regard to your grandchildren. They may choice to meet you when they become an adult and you can share your journal at that time.

Good luck.

Birthday Gift Thoughts for Grandchildren

Two of the children who call me Mimi were both born in November. So figuring out what to get them for their birthday which is right around the corner from the holiday season poses great stress. My grandchildren, like most children, have way too many toys. If your grandchildren are young, getting something that they need makes sense as they will not remember or care what you got them. They seem to be more interested in the wrapping paper and boxes then they are in the gift itself. Some of the gifts that have been greatly appreciated by my grandchildren's parents are clothes in a size or two larger than they wear, diapers, walkers, and high chairs. Especially diapers. Another idea with so many working parents is paying for a month or week of daycare.

This year, my soon to be two year old grandson is in need of a new bed. He keeps crawling out of his crib and falling out of the youth bed that was created from his crib. So we will be getting him a mattress and his other grandparents are getting him bedding. Our soon to be five year old granddaughter is old enough to appreciate and remember the gifts that she is given. At this age or older, I would recommend providing them with experiences. A trip to the theme parks (as I live in Orlando), music or dance lessons, or perhaps a weekend trip to a destination that would interest your grandchild (consider the age of your grandchild when picking the destination).  This year the grandparents are all chipping in to give our granddaughter ballet and tap lessons. We included her in the decision making process of choosing what kind of lesson she wanted. She chose ballet and tap. We took her to watch a class and she was invited to participate. She loved it.

The things that our granddaughter seems to remember most fondly are the experiences that we have given her, not the toys.

Grandparents Who Are Parenting Their Grandchildren

If you are a grandparent who is raising your grandchildren be careful not to fall into the role of a grandparent. You must take on the role of a parent. For the good of your grandchildren it is important to discipline them when necessary and not spoil them with all kinds of gifts. No matter the reason that you find yourself in this position, it is imperative that you fill the role of parent. Your grandchild's success as an adult depends on it.

Grandparents and the Different Roles They Play in Grandchildren's Lives

With the increase in single parent households and two income households, the role of grandparents becomes more important than ever.

As I begin a series on grandparenting, I realize that grandparents can play a number of different roles in their grandchildren's lives. I will be giving suggestions for each of  five types of roles that grandparents may play.  The five types are: Daycare Grandparents, Close-By Grandparents, Distant Grandparents, Parent-Grandparents and Absent Grandparents.

Daycare Grandparents are being defined as grandparents who care for their grandchildren three or more days a week while parent is working. Close-By Grandparents live near their grandchildren and are able to see them on a regular basis. Distant Grandparents live far away from their grandchildren and are only able to see them a few times a year. Parent-Grandparents are those grandparents who are raising their grandchildren on their own. Absent Grandparents are those grandparents who choose not to have a relationship with their grandchildren or the children's parents refuse to allow them access to their grandchildren.

Each of these relationships requires different types of interactions and I will therefore address them  in separate posts. Each post will give suggestions regarding gifting, and specific interactions that may improve your relationship no matter your circumstances with your granchild.

College Application Time is Approaching for Seniors

It is that time of year for high school seniors to get to work on college applications. Seniors should be getting their applications, essays and recommendation letters together now. Hopefully, they have already been involved in a number of diverse activities and community service opportunities throughout their high school career. If not get to work setting yourself apart from the average student. These activities are very important for their application to stand out from the crowd. In addition , many high schools over students the option of taking college credit courses. Seniors can actually earn an associates degree and a high school diploma on graduation day. This allows a student to apply to colleges as an incoming sophomore or junior where there is a much better chance of getting into the college of your choice.

There are several application opportunities that increase your child's chance of getting into a college of their choice. The first is Early Decision. If you are both set on a particular college this may be for you. Completing this type of application locks them into going to this college if they are accepted so they must be positive. Application need to be submitted in early November and a response may be received in December. There is a much smaller application pool for this type of application which greatly increases your child's chances of getting accepted.

Early Action differs from  Early Decision in that it is not binding (meaning if they are accepted, they are not locked into going to that school. Your child could apply to several different colleges. Deadline for these applications is also in early November, application pool is also smaller and they should find out about their acceptance in December.

Early Admission is another option, but the number of applicants is larger which decreases your child's chances of getting in to the college of their choice. Early Admission applications are usually due in January and they should find out about acceptance in February.

When it comes down to apply to colleges, earlier is definitely better.

What You Need to Know about Outlet Covers

The small plastic outlet plug in model which I have used for decades may be a choking hazard. If your cover is small enough to fit through a toilet paper roll, then it is a choking hazard. There are covers that screw into the wall over outlet plate and slide shut over outlets when outlet is not in use. This eliminates the choking hazard problem and in addition you will never lose it or forget to put it back in when you are finished using the outlet.

More Ideas for Rear Facing Baby Seats

After my post regarding the rear facing mirrors for your baby, it was brought to my attention by my son-in-law, who is a father of two young children, that there was another alternative. I did some research regarding baby cams for rear facing car seats. I found three options.

The Yada Digital Tiny Traveler Wireless Video Baby Monitor costs around $150. It was the least expensive of the three but it requires two cigarette outlets to power and the cords provided seemed to break a lot. The cords seemed to be a hazard.

The Zooby Wifi Direct Portable Video Baby Monitor is the only certified crash tested stuff animal car baby monitor. It has two-way talk, night vision, plays three lullabies, zoom in capabilities and is  android compatible. This unit costs around $170, but has mixed reviews. There is some difficulty with charging as the monitor requires a USB port and the camera has a micro USB port. Both camera and monitor must be turned off when leaving the car. It was often reported to freeze up or shut off  and the sound quality was not very good.

The Garmin Baby Camera seems to be the best option. The camera costs around $190 but it only works with a Garmin GPS. Since most of us use our phones as a GPS, a Garmin GPS would also need to be purchased, bringing the total to about $350 for both. It can be used for rear facing or front facing car seats. It is easy to install to the car headrest with a twist to clamp bracket. It uses 2 AA batteries and the GPS can be hooked to up to four cameras in order to monitor more than one child. It is voice activated and informs parent that child is still in car when car is shut off. I really like this feature since there are a number of infant car deaths each year because parents have forgotten children in their cars.

Keeping Up with Baby Recalls is Important

New parents should keep an eye out for baby items that have been recalled. They are taken off the store shelves but it is impossible to notify parents who purchased these items prior to the recall. Sometimes these new items run into more problems then they are solving. They are taken off the store shelves but it is impossible to notify parents who purchased these items prior to the recall.

Here are some of the recent baby recalls you should be aware of: some of the baby gates, wipe warmers, bumper pads and  bath rings. The suction on the bath ring has come unstuck and the child tips over and has been  the cause of 123 infant drownings since 1983, that is just under 4 deaths each year. Some of the baby gates are constructed in such a way that a toddler can climb up on them. Some of these baby gates have been responsible for baby strangulation deaths. Wipe warmers can become a fire hazard. An alternative way of warming baby wipes is holding them in your hands for a moment and they will warm right up. Bumper pads have been a baby staple for a long time but they may cause a risk once the baby is able to roll over. The baby could roll over and press their face against the bumper pad and suffocate.

No need to panic, just keep informed. You are better at this parenting thing than you think!

To baby mirror or not to baby mirror, that is the car seat question

Recently, it was brought to my attention that some individuals who are certified to properly install a car seat are having new parents take down the mirrors that allow drivers to see their rear facing babies. I did some research and found that these certified individuals are not all in agreement about these mirrors. Since there is no definitive answer regarding this topic, I will provide information from both sides and leave the decision up to you.

Those in favor of taking down the mirror feel that this can first and foremost be a distraction for the driver. If the driver is frequently looking in the rear-view mirror to check on the baby instead of paying attention to the road, the driver is more likely to get in an accident. In addition, they believe that the baby mirror could become dislodged in an accident and injure or kill the baby. They state the when dislodged the mirror could either hit the baby with force or cut the baby if the mirror breaks. There were no reported statistics regarding either of these two scenarios.

Those in favor of the mirror feel that parents are better able to monitor a baby in a rear-facing car seat with the mirror. They also stated the there were no reported infant injuries due to these mirrors, although there have been a few reports of parents intervening when their baby was choking or vomiting in their car seat. They do acknowledge that these mirrors can be a distraction for the driver but raising awareness about this may reduce this risk.

My feelings on this topic are as follows: being aware that these mirrors may be a distraction to your driving and only checking on baby when it is safe may eliminate most of the concerns. The models most at risk for becoming a projectile in an accident seem to be those mirrors that have additional things attached such as music, lights and toys or those models that rely solely on velcro to attach it to the car.  They are heavier and may be more likely to dislodge. Mirrors that are lightweight and have rounded edges that are cushioned might be a better choice. In addition, I found several companies that had developed a mirror that could be placed in the middle seat and angled so that the baby could be monitored from the rear-view mirror. Other designs attach to headrest with velcro and hooks as well. A third option that I found was a mirror that attached to the ceiling of the car like a tension rod.

No matter what your decision regarding the mirror is, always drive safely. Remember you have precious cargo on board.