Today a 14 year old boy was conficted and sentenced in Pennsylvania for killing his stepmother-to-be and her unborn child when he was eleven. Jealousy toward the unborn child was identified as the motive. Although an arguement can be made that this was very extreme behavior on the part of this boy, the point is that blending a family together has an affect on children that needs to be addressed by both parent and step parent. Give your child all the time that they need to get to know the future step parent before taking any move towards marriage. It is also important for the stepparent-to-be to spend time alone with each of the children in order to cement in the mind of each of the children that they will still be a very important member of the family.
Best practice is to include children in the discussion about a new addition to the family and how that new addition will be a joining of the two families. Tying this family together forever. If there is a new baby on the way already, make sure that each child knows that they will always hold a place in the family. Individual time between each child and stepparent is vital in this situation. Both before and especially after the birth of the baby.
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