Sunday, August 5, 2012

Sending a Child Off to College: Part 4

What should you do if your child begs you to come home and quit college?  The first thing that you need to do, if you receive this call from your college bound child, is listen carefully to their concerns.  Change is hard for all of us and there is no denying that college equates to massive change for our children.  For many of our children listening, reassuring them that their feelings are quite normal and that it's going to get better will be enough.  If this is not enough for your child, fight the urge to rush down to them and solve all their problems for them.  Help them to develop a plan of action for solving whatever problems that they are having.  If they are having academic problems you might suggest that they seek out a tutor to assist them.  If it is a socializing issue, you might steer them towards on campus groups that might interest them.  If it is a roommate issue, direct them toward their Resident Assistant (or whatever they are called this year).  If it is an emotional issue, suggest that they try the college's counseling centers that a majority of colleges have available for students.  If it is a financial issue, help them to develop a budget.  Fight the urge here to provide unlimited funds to them.  In my experience the students who have unlimited funds are the ones who get into the most trouble at college.

In summary, my main advice when you receive this call is to listen and be supportive but fight the urge to solve their problems for them. Don't immediately get in your car to go rescue them from the big bad college.  Some times leaving college is the right answer, it just shouldn't be the first thing that you and your child should try.

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