Tell your children about the upcoming divorce or separation is not going to be easy, but a little planning will be helpful. I suggest, that if possible both parents sit down and talk to the children. I know that I am asking something that seems impossible, but showing your children that you will have a united front with regard to parenting will be helpful. If the two of you can not sit down together without your emotions (especially anger) getting in the way, just one of you should do it.
When talking to your kids about this pending event, it is most important to talk as calmly as you possibly can and leave out any bashing of the other parent. I recommend that you do all your bashing with a trusted friend far from your children. I would even practice this talk with that trusted friend to make sure that your tone of voice and words do not reflect your negative feeling about your soon to be ex.
When having this talk, it is important to tell the truth. Make it simple and honest. No need to go into great detail, a simple "we aren't getting along anymore" will do. Older children may need a more detailed explanation. It is important to answer the questions that your children have about their living arrangements and visitation. Working this out with your ex before hand, if possible, will ease the transition for your children. The most important thing that you will need to do during this talk is to reassure your children that both of you still love them very much and that they did not do anything to cause this split. This is one time that sounding like a broken record will be beneficial. When receiving bad news, we don't always hear everything being said. Repeating "I Love You" and "It wasn't your fault" over and over will ensure that your children really do hear it.
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