Boomers and Boomerang Children...Successfully Managing this Phenomenon

Many Baby Boomers are finding themselves faced with caring for their aging parents and having their children return to the nest. These can put undo stress on a marriage and greatly affect their financial planning for their golden years.

Children are returning to live with their parents for many reasons. Some have lost their jobs and their homes, and move their entire family into their parent's home. Many find themselves returning home from military duty, discharged with no employment opportunities. Others find themselves returning with a diploma in hand and no job prospects. How can you as the parent of an adult best handle this situation? Below are some dos and don'ts to consider.

Don'ts. 1)Avoid the urge to begin parenting them right where you left off. Your children are adults now and have lived on their own. Holding them to the rules that they lived by as children will only encourage them to rebel. 2)Do not just give them a "free ride". This will just set them up for future failure. Don't just bail them out, help them to restructure their debt and teach them how to avoid new debt. 3)Don't put yourself in a financial bind.

Dos. 1)Have a serious discussion before they move back in. If they are already living with you, have that talk ASAP. Talk about the whys to their moving back in, and about their plans for the future. 2)Set clear expectations for living in the household. Include a discussion about their expenses, chores, what to do about dating/spending the night, and calling if they will be gone all night. Setting ground rules should not be seen as treating them as children because you would set ground rules for a renter as well. 3)Set a time limit for how long that they will be staying with you. It provides your child with a goal date to get their life in order (motivation). This time limit can be revisited if circumstances change. 4) Charge them rent. This suggestion will probably be met with the most resistance but there are some very good reasons to do this. It helps to prepare your child for independent living and it will help you avoid getting yourself into a financial bind. It is important to share with your child the financial strain that you are going through having them there and how they can help easy that strain.