Bullying: The Victim (Part One)

A study recently reported that 60% of all children interviewed admitted that they had been bullied at one time or another. I think that the actual number is much closer to 100% than that (like probably 100%). In today’s society, when victims are lashing back with unspeakable acts of violence or suicide after years of being bullied, it is imperative that we teach our children a different way to deal with being bullied. Ignoring and pushing down the feelings isn’t working, it just allows the anger to build inside the victim until they can’t take it anymore. Teaching your child some methods of dealing with bullies and practicing these techniques with them through role play, may save lives. Help your child learn to be part of the solution, instead of part of the problem. All of these techniques will not be effective for your child, which is why the practice is so important. Help them find what works for them.


First and foremost, be sure that your child understands where the bully is coming from and what the bully is trying to achieve. It is important to help your child understand that one of the reasons bullies often lash out is because of their own insecurities. They may feel that by lowering others, they elevate themselves. Bullies often pick on things in others that they don’t like in themselves. Understanding where a bully is coming from may go a long way in eliminating the power that a bully has over your child. More on that in our blog about the bully.

Talking to a trusted adult or close friend may be helpful to your child. Letting them know that they can come to you about anything. Sometimes they just need a place to vent, and we as parents have a difficult time staying passive when our baby is telling us that someone is hurting them. They are not always looking for you to be their knight in shining armor; sometimes they are just in need of a sounding board. Knowing when you should just listen and when you need to take action may be difficult. Often direct intervention on your part may make the situation worse; your child may be seen as “a tattle tale” or something worse. Stop and think about what intervening will accomplish and whether this will make the situation better or worse. We are not telling you when to take action, that’s up to your judgment. Simply consider the ramifications for your child when you consider your options.

I believe that an empowered child is a happier child. Giving them ways to address a bullying situation may change their feelings about the situation from helplessness to empowerment. Anger management also offers tools which may help your child deal with bullying. We will discuss that in a future blog. In our next blog we will talk about helping your child prepare for direct contact with the bully.

Contact us through the blog, on Facebook, or at ParentSharing@aol.com for more information, or with specific comments, concerns or questions.