Monday, September 27, 2010
Influence of Music on our Children
Music and its lyrics can have a profound influence on our children. I have heard songs on the radio that promote violent behavior against women, killing, rape and bad language. I am not sure that anyone should be listening to that type of music, let alone our children. Fortunately, cds now carry a rating sysem which assist parents in determining whether the music is age appropriate for your children. I realize that this rating system is only a guide for parents, and you need to exercise your own judgement when choosing to allow your children to listen to music.
Responsibility
If you want your child to except responsibility for their actions and mistakes, accept responsibilityfor yours (especially difficult to do if you have to admit you made a mistake with them).
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
A Little Tip on Setting the Right Example
If you want your kid to wear a helmet while riding a bike, wear a helmet. If you want your kid not to smoke, don't smoke.
And Dad's if you want your kids only to pee inside the toilet bowl...
(If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie)
And Dad's if you want your kids only to pee inside the toilet bowl...
(If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie)
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Potty Training: Sorting the Good Advice from the Downright Bizarre
Few things frighten parents more than the task of potty training. Everyone in your life is offering advice about how to go about doing this task, even those who have never actually done it before. Trying to sort through all of this advice, can turn into a daunting task. Rule out the advice that seems too bizarre to believe and try to come up with a plan of action before you begin. At this time I am going to add my two cents to all the advice that you are collecting. I have been involved in potty training seven children: two of my own and five in the school system, so at least I have some experience to draw on.
The first thing that I hope you are considering before undertaking this task, is that your child has begun to show signs that they are ready to be trained. If they are noticing that their diaper is wet and are hiding behind chairs when they are having a bowel movement, they are showing signs of an awareness of these body functions. If they aren’t. I would like you to consider that they are not ready yet. Rushing them into something that they are not ready for will cause them to become frustrated and just give you headaches. I would like to suggest that if your neighbor who is telling you that their child was potty trained by twelve months, that it wasn’t so much that the child was trained but the parent who was trained. In this instance maybe it is not so great to be keeping up with the Joneses.
Some thoughts about potty chairs that stand alone versus potty seats that attach to the toilet. Potty chairs are the right height for little ones to go on their own and many play music or have some built in reinforcer, however they need to be cleaned out. Potty seats do not need to be cleaned since they connect right to the toilet, and prepares child for an easy transition to the toilet itself, however it sit’s a little high for little ones to get on alone.
Whether you choose a method that trains in one day which has you taking your child to the bathroom every half hour to hour in order to catch them ready to go, or whether you choose a method that has your child letting you know when they want to use the toilet, I believe that positive reinforcers are key to making any training much easier. Reinforcers should be something only offered for going to the bathroom, be something that your child really wants and provides immediate gratification. Some possible reinforcers: food, candy, or stickers.
Boys present some additional challenges when training them. They may want to stand like daddy does and often even older boys have trouble hitting the mark. When training my own son, I encouraged him to sit backwards on the toilet by telling him it was like riding a horse. This way it was an easy transition to standing when the time and his height were right. Learn from my experience, be sure to teach your son to point his penis down, unless you are hoping to shower the bathroom with pee. This seems to be a problem for boys no matter what their age. A friend of mine who had a household filled with males, addressed this issue by painting a bull’s eye inside her toilet when she got tired of having to clean up around the toilet. Another friend dropped cheerios in her toilet to help with her son’s aim. I am not so sure about using food in the toilet for young children, as they may reach down and try to eat them.
No matter how you choose to train your child, making sure they’re ready will help eliminate frustration, but there will be setbacks and accidents. Don’t shame or yell at your child over accidents, it will only make things worse. Good luck!
The first thing that I hope you are considering before undertaking this task, is that your child has begun to show signs that they are ready to be trained. If they are noticing that their diaper is wet and are hiding behind chairs when they are having a bowel movement, they are showing signs of an awareness of these body functions. If they aren’t. I would like you to consider that they are not ready yet. Rushing them into something that they are not ready for will cause them to become frustrated and just give you headaches. I would like to suggest that if your neighbor who is telling you that their child was potty trained by twelve months, that it wasn’t so much that the child was trained but the parent who was trained. In this instance maybe it is not so great to be keeping up with the Joneses.
Some thoughts about potty chairs that stand alone versus potty seats that attach to the toilet. Potty chairs are the right height for little ones to go on their own and many play music or have some built in reinforcer, however they need to be cleaned out. Potty seats do not need to be cleaned since they connect right to the toilet, and prepares child for an easy transition to the toilet itself, however it sit’s a little high for little ones to get on alone.
Whether you choose a method that trains in one day which has you taking your child to the bathroom every half hour to hour in order to catch them ready to go, or whether you choose a method that has your child letting you know when they want to use the toilet, I believe that positive reinforcers are key to making any training much easier. Reinforcers should be something only offered for going to the bathroom, be something that your child really wants and provides immediate gratification. Some possible reinforcers: food, candy, or stickers.
Boys present some additional challenges when training them. They may want to stand like daddy does and often even older boys have trouble hitting the mark. When training my own son, I encouraged him to sit backwards on the toilet by telling him it was like riding a horse. This way it was an easy transition to standing when the time and his height were right. Learn from my experience, be sure to teach your son to point his penis down, unless you are hoping to shower the bathroom with pee. This seems to be a problem for boys no matter what their age. A friend of mine who had a household filled with males, addressed this issue by painting a bull’s eye inside her toilet when she got tired of having to clean up around the toilet. Another friend dropped cheerios in her toilet to help with her son’s aim. I am not so sure about using food in the toilet for young children, as they may reach down and try to eat them.
No matter how you choose to train your child, making sure they’re ready will help eliminate frustration, but there will be setbacks and accidents. Don’t shame or yell at your child over accidents, it will only make things worse. Good luck!
Afterschool Activities
When considering activities for your child, it is important consider that we all want to raise balanced children. In order to raise a balanced child, they need to have lived a balanced life. My recommendation is to limit your child’s after school activities to no more than two or three days a week. I believe that this will leave your child enough time to just be a kid, while they are still a kid and can enjoy that. Children learn many of their life lessons through their play, so it is imperative that you give them time to play. In addition to these valuable lessons, there will be many opportunities to have teachable moments with your child about winning and losing, and success and failures. What better way to prepare them for what lies ahead of them in the "real" world.
If your child is extremely talented at a sport and you think that they are headed to the Olympics or to a professional career, that may require a much larger commitment. Be sure that your expectation of athletic greatness is based in reality, before making this kind of commitment with your child. It will be a commitment for both of you and statistically this level of athlete comes along very infrequently.
After school activities are extremely important for your child to participate in. It teaches practical lessons in areas that talking to your children alone can not begin to teach. It helps them to develop a sense of good sportsmanship, builds confidence, teaches responsibility and teamwork, all for the price of one or two nights a week. Finding the right activity or activities for your child may take some time, and I know it did with my own children. Each tried soccer, t-ball, scouts, gymnastics before they both settled on karate. We insisted that they stuck with an activity for an entire season, for two reasons. First, we wanted them to make sure whether this was the right activity for them and that takes more than one or two days to make that type of decision. Secondly, we wanted to be sure to instill in our children that when you commit to something, people count on you to follow through and it wouldn’t b right to quit halfway through, leaving your teammates in a lurch.
My parting word of wisdom on the topic of after school activities has to be BALANCE. Without a balanced life, we raise “lop-sided” children.
If your child is extremely talented at a sport and you think that they are headed to the Olympics or to a professional career, that may require a much larger commitment. Be sure that your expectation of athletic greatness is based in reality, before making this kind of commitment with your child. It will be a commitment for both of you and statistically this level of athlete comes along very infrequently.
After school activities are extremely important for your child to participate in. It teaches practical lessons in areas that talking to your children alone can not begin to teach. It helps them to develop a sense of good sportsmanship, builds confidence, teaches responsibility and teamwork, all for the price of one or two nights a week. Finding the right activity or activities for your child may take some time, and I know it did with my own children. Each tried soccer, t-ball, scouts, gymnastics before they both settled on karate. We insisted that they stuck with an activity for an entire season, for two reasons. First, we wanted them to make sure whether this was the right activity for them and that takes more than one or two days to make that type of decision. Secondly, we wanted to be sure to instill in our children that when you commit to something, people count on you to follow through and it wouldn’t b right to quit halfway through, leaving your teammates in a lurch.
My parting word of wisdom on the topic of after school activities has to be BALANCE. Without a balanced life, we raise “lop-sided” children.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
PTC
The Parent Teacher Connection is critical to your child’s success at school. Just like the times that children pit parents against each other in order to get what they want, children try to pit their parent against their teacher. This may happen when their behavior has gotten them into trouble or when their grades are dropping. The best way of preventing this is to promote parent-teacher communication from the start of the school year. Attending conferences, open houses, PTA meetings and special school events sends the message to your child that their education is important to you. I suggest that you set up a conference with the teacher between the second and sixth week of school. Before the second week of school, the teacher is still getting to know your child. After the sixth week, your child’s school habits may be set for the year. If your child is having trouble, the teacher and you may be able to come up with some ideas that will help. You both have very valuable information needed to help your child: the teacher knows about curriculum and teaching techniques and you know your child.
At this point, I also want to include a blurb about over communication. With all the things that teachers are required to do, daily communication with parents is not possible. My recommendation is that you conference with your child’s teacher no more than two times in a semester (or four times in a school year) and limit phone calls to four a semester (or eight in a school year). Note that just like the times that teacher’s call to let you know when your child has done something good, teachers love to get calls from parents letting them know that they are doing something right. If more conferences are needed due to behavior or academic difficulties, let the request come from the teacher.
Should your child attend the conference? This question has no easy answer. When answering this question it is important to take into consideration the age of the student and the topic to be discussed. You will need to consider the pros and cons of your child attending a conference, each time you meet with the teacher. The answer may very well change from conference to conference.
At this point, I also want to include a blurb about over communication. With all the things that teachers are required to do, daily communication with parents is not possible. My recommendation is that you conference with your child’s teacher no more than two times in a semester (or four times in a school year) and limit phone calls to four a semester (or eight in a school year). Note that just like the times that teacher’s call to let you know when your child has done something good, teachers love to get calls from parents letting them know that they are doing something right. If more conferences are needed due to behavior or academic difficulties, let the request come from the teacher.
Should your child attend the conference? This question has no easy answer. When answering this question it is important to take into consideration the age of the student and the topic to be discussed. You will need to consider the pros and cons of your child attending a conference, each time you meet with the teacher. The answer may very well change from conference to conference.
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