Women know what men have long forgotten. The ultimate economic and spiritual unit of any civilization is still the family. -Clare Boothe Luce
Even as the cell is the unit of the organic body, so the family is the unit of society. -Ruth Nanda Anshen
The family is the most basic unit of government. As the first community to which a person is attached and the first authority under which a person learns to live, the family establishes society's most basic values. -Charles Caleb Colton
If the smallest unit of our society is the family, the best way to fix what is wrong with society is to start with the way we are raising our children. If we raise our children to be self sufficient and socially conscious, our society will return to a self sufficient and socially conscious society. If we raise our children to be egocentric and always looking for what society can do for them, our society will continue on the distructive path that we are on. Food for thought.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
How Do You Keep Mothering with Broken Bones and Severe Pain?
I am faced with the dilemma of figuring out a way to continue posting and writing my book with the use of just one hand. After 15 hours in the hospital and many x-rays, I was sent home with a splint and sling around my dominent arm. In ten days, I will hopefully be exchanging it for a fiberglass cast because the alternative is surgery. It just must be said that breaking your funny bone in two, not so funny. I can't pull down my pants or wear any top that isn't a halter. Fortunately, my children are grown but I am not sure what I would do if they were little. I guess I would do exactly what I am doing and that is lean on my friends and family to help me out. It really is true that you come to know who your true friends are during your times of trouble. I have been blessed with some terrific friends and family. I hope that you don't need to break something to realize how blessed you are with friends and family. Let them know now how much you value them.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
How to Fight Back When Your Child Gets the Gimmies
When all you hear from your children during the holidays are the phrases “I want…”, "I have to have" or “Is that all I'm getting”, it is time to take action and fight back against the gimmies. I think the most important gifts that we can give are children in this “Me” society are gratitude and generosity. It is best to start this from an early age because the “gimmies” is a hard habit to break. It is hard to break this habit in a teenager but not impossible. I tried to address this issue in my own children from two directions: volunteering with them to help others and building holiday traditions or experiences.
I began taking my children to help out with the Thanksgiving Dinner for the Homeless that the Salvation Army puts on every year. I started this when my children were nine and twelve. In addition, we volunteered at various Christmas stores for the needy. Check with the organization as to whether they need any help and their age requirements for helping before you go. There is nothing more disappointing than to get there and not be able to help out. These organizations are overrun with volunteers at this time of the year, and are often begging for helping throughout the rest of the year. Consider volunteering at other times of the year, the experience will probably be much more rewarding for your children. I also had my children pick a name from one of the giving trees in the stores at Christmas time. They used their own money, which they earned by doing chores for me, to purchase gifts for these children. They wrapped the gifts and sent them with a special note of holiday cheer. In addition, they began making donations to organizations that the people on their gift list supported instead of getting them a gift. Another thing that our family has committed to is raising money through garage sales, parties and events for charities that are closed to our heart. I think that choosing a charity that holds special meaning to your family really motivates all of you to go out there and do it. There are so many different ways to volunteer, I bet your family will come up with some great ideas that fit the talents and interests of all of you.
Consider giving your children the gift of experiences during the holidays. The gift of your time is what they really want. Some of my fondest memories from my own childhood are not the gifts that were under the tree, but the fun that we had as a family setting up the tree, baking cookies and driving around looking at the lights. I realized just yesterday how important these things are to children when my son (who is in his late twenties) asked me when we were going to drive around and look at the lights.
I think that the best way to fight the “gimmies” is to include your child in the giving process and to provide your child with holiday experiences. Hope that this helps you to have a more joyous, less gimmie-filled holiday season.
I began taking my children to help out with the Thanksgiving Dinner for the Homeless that the Salvation Army puts on every year. I started this when my children were nine and twelve. In addition, we volunteered at various Christmas stores for the needy. Check with the organization as to whether they need any help and their age requirements for helping before you go. There is nothing more disappointing than to get there and not be able to help out. These organizations are overrun with volunteers at this time of the year, and are often begging for helping throughout the rest of the year. Consider volunteering at other times of the year, the experience will probably be much more rewarding for your children. I also had my children pick a name from one of the giving trees in the stores at Christmas time. They used their own money, which they earned by doing chores for me, to purchase gifts for these children. They wrapped the gifts and sent them with a special note of holiday cheer. In addition, they began making donations to organizations that the people on their gift list supported instead of getting them a gift. Another thing that our family has committed to is raising money through garage sales, parties and events for charities that are closed to our heart. I think that choosing a charity that holds special meaning to your family really motivates all of you to go out there and do it. There are so many different ways to volunteer, I bet your family will come up with some great ideas that fit the talents and interests of all of you.
Consider giving your children the gift of experiences during the holidays. The gift of your time is what they really want. Some of my fondest memories from my own childhood are not the gifts that were under the tree, but the fun that we had as a family setting up the tree, baking cookies and driving around looking at the lights. I realized just yesterday how important these things are to children when my son (who is in his late twenties) asked me when we were going to drive around and look at the lights.
I think that the best way to fight the “gimmies” is to include your child in the giving process and to provide your child with holiday experiences. Hope that this helps you to have a more joyous, less gimmie-filled holiday season.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Finding the Right Consequence
When assigning a consequence for a misbehavior, I believe that it is important for a parent to make sure that the consequence has a relationship to the misbehavior if possible. It is better that a consequence teaches the desired lesson, then just be punitive in nature. Two types of consequences that you may consider when determining a punishment for a particular behavior are: logical consequences and natural consequences.
Natural consequences occur naturally when your child engages in a particular behavior. These are very effective if they occur immediately following an action, and may not require any intervening on your part to eliminate the behavior. An example of a natural consequence may be getting a burn when touching a hot stove. Any parent who has teenagers knows that telling your teen that they can't be friends or date someone usually just serves to strain the relationship between the two of you and encourage them to sneak around to be with that person. It may be much more effective, if it is not someone who is dangerous to be around, to allow your child to find out on there own that this is a person that they do not want to associate with. Getting your approval to go out with this person may take away all the intrigue and excitement that your child perceives about this person.
Logical consequences are consequences that you assign to your child when they have engaged in a misbehavior. They are logical in that they "fit the crime" to assist the child in learning from their misbehavior. An example may be not allowing your child to have dessert if they have not eaten their dinner or not letting your teenager use the computer for a week because you caught them on a website that you do not allow them to go to.
When disciplining your child, remembering two things will go a long way to improving your child's behavior: that you need to always be consistent and consequences work best when relate to the unwanted behavior.
Natural consequences occur naturally when your child engages in a particular behavior. These are very effective if they occur immediately following an action, and may not require any intervening on your part to eliminate the behavior. An example of a natural consequence may be getting a burn when touching a hot stove. Any parent who has teenagers knows that telling your teen that they can't be friends or date someone usually just serves to strain the relationship between the two of you and encourage them to sneak around to be with that person. It may be much more effective, if it is not someone who is dangerous to be around, to allow your child to find out on there own that this is a person that they do not want to associate with. Getting your approval to go out with this person may take away all the intrigue and excitement that your child perceives about this person.
Logical consequences are consequences that you assign to your child when they have engaged in a misbehavior. They are logical in that they "fit the crime" to assist the child in learning from their misbehavior. An example may be not allowing your child to have dessert if they have not eaten their dinner or not letting your teenager use the computer for a week because you caught them on a website that you do not allow them to go to.
When disciplining your child, remembering two things will go a long way to improving your child's behavior: that you need to always be consistent and consequences work best when relate to the unwanted behavior.
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