How to Fight Back When Your Child Gets the Gimmies

When all you hear from your children during the holidays are the phrases “I want…”, "I have to have" or “Is that all I'm getting”, it is time to take action and fight back against the gimmies. I think the most important gifts that we can give are children in this “Me” society are gratitude and generosity. It is best to start this from an early age because the “gimmies” is a hard habit to break. It is hard to break this habit in a teenager but not impossible. I tried to address this issue in my own children from two directions: volunteering with them to help others and building holiday traditions or experiences.
I began taking my children to help out with the Thanksgiving Dinner for the Homeless that the Salvation Army puts on every year. I started this when my children were nine and twelve. In addition, we volunteered at various Christmas stores for the needy. Check with the organization as to whether they need any help and their age requirements for helping before you go. There is nothing more disappointing than to get there and not be able to help out. These organizations are overrun with volunteers at this time of the year, and are often begging for helping throughout the rest of the year. Consider volunteering at other times of the year, the experience will probably be much more rewarding for your children. I also had my children pick a name from one of the giving trees in the stores at Christmas time. They used their own money, which they earned by doing chores for me, to purchase gifts for these children. They wrapped the gifts and sent them with a special note of holiday cheer. In addition, they began making donations to organizations that the people on their gift list supported instead of getting them a gift. Another thing that our family has committed to is raising money through garage sales, parties and events for charities that are closed to our heart. I think that choosing a charity that holds special meaning to your family really motivates all of you to go out there and do it. There are so many different ways to volunteer, I bet your family will come up with some great ideas that fit the talents and interests of all of you.

Consider giving your children the gift of experiences during the holidays. The gift of your time is what they really want. Some of my fondest memories from my own childhood are not the gifts that were under the tree, but the fun that we had as a family setting up the tree, baking cookies and driving around looking at the lights. I realized just yesterday how important these things are to children when my son (who is in his late twenties) asked me when we were going to drive around and look at the lights.
I think that the best way to fight the “gimmies” is to include your child in the giving process and to provide your child with holiday experiences. Hope that this helps you to have a more joyous, less gimmie-filled holiday season.

A Few Thoughts on Giving Thanks and Giving Back

It is easy to find ourselves, and our children, all tied up in the busyness of the holiday season forgetting the true importance of this time. Try to remember to include some time to give thanks for the many things that you have. Before sharing our Thanksgiving meal, it is our tradition to go around the table stating what things each of us is thankful for. In these troubled financial times, I know it is sometimes hard for children and adults to find things to be thankful for but remembering friends, family, and shared memories may be a good place to start. Make the effort to share the things that you are thankful for with your children. Listen carefully to what they are thankful for, sometimes great wisdom comes out of the mouths of babes.

As our children approached the "tween" years and started to really develop the "gimmies" during the holiday season, we began participating in activities that had us all giving back to our community. Some of the activities that we have participated in over the years include: helping feed the homeless on Thanksgiving, being a shopping assistant at a church or Salvation Army Christmas store, raising money for a good cause, and collecting food for the food bank. The list of ways to give back is endless, and the rewards of doing this as a family are great.

Many times children ask what difference can one person make. I suggest replying to this by giving examples of individuals who single handedly changed the world like Rosa Parks, Mother Theresa or the boy in my community who collects enough food each year to feed 500 families. A movie that my family loves to watch that really brings the point home that one person can make a difference is Pay It Forward. Be aware that there is some pretty heavy content in this movie, so it is not meant for young children, but it is well worth a watch for the inspirational message that it gives all of us.