A Child's Description of What It Feels Like to be Caught in the Middle

Today’s post is a story that I want to share with you. I am hoping that it will get you thinking about what putting children in the middle of a divorce does to them. I was counseling a Kindergartener several years ago who was continually acting out in class. She was throwing things, hitting students and not making any friends. Five year olds tend not to have the ability to vocalize what they are feeling so they tend to act out. One day when I was meeting with her, I asked her to show me what it felt like to be her. She lined up three bears in one of my chairs and one bear in another chair. Her father had remarried and had a baby, while her mother and she lived on their own. Placing herself in between the two chairs, she picked up a bear from each chair and began swaying from side to side. To me it looked as if the bears were playing tug of war with the little girl as the rope. I don’t think that I could describe what we do to our children when we put them in the middle of our divorce better, even if I used a thousand words. I hope this gets you thinking about what we are doing to our children when we put them in the middle of our divorce.