Christmas Gift that Is Bound to Touch the Heart of Scrooge Himself

Whether it is going to a young child or an adult, I think that a book that can record someone reading it is an awesome gift for those who are separated by a large distance.  Sending your child reading a book to a parent in the military, or a grandparent who lives far away is bound to be a big hit.  Another priceless suggestion with regard to this recorded book would be to have a parent who is separated by distance due to military service or divorce record the reading for their child.  FYI, it may just ease their transition.  If you haven't seen the commercial from Hallmark for this book yet, brace yourself, I cry everytime I see it.

Lessons Learned from Star Trek of all Places

When I found this article on the internet, I just had to post it.  You see my son and husband are big StarTtrek fans, mostly next generation but all the rest too.  Good to know that all that time spent at conventions and watching shows and movies didn't go to waste.  Just goes to prove that there is a lesson in everything if you look closely enough.  If your child is crazy about a particular show, try to find the lessons to be learned from it and don't miss out on a teachable moment with your child.

Excerpts from an article entitled "7 Life Lessons You Can Learn From 'Star Trek' by David Borgenicht:

I would say there are seven life lessons I learned from "Star Trek" that I take with me to this day. These are lessons I hope to pass along to my own children someday--but for now, I will share them with the interweb.

1. The best way to travel is to boldly go where no one has gone before. This is true for vacations, for self-exploration, for life itself. If you want your days filled with adventure, laughter, love, learning and the occasional mind-meld, follow this route.
2. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few--or the one. Sometimes you must make great sacrifices for the greater good. And, like the Genesis device, it will all come back around.
3. Expressing your emotions is a healthy thing. Sure, McCoy seemed angry all the time when exclaiming, "Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor not a mechanic/bricklayer/soothsayer," but he knew that by expressing his anger and frustration it wouldn't get the best of him and he could then perform at his peak capacity.
4. When estimating how long a job will take, overestimate--and when you do better your captain will always be impressed. Replace the word "captain" with "teacher" or "mom/dad" and you'll see what I mean. Sure, Mr. Scott might have been telling the truth--maybe it would take six hours to get the warp engines back online in the heat of the battle. Or maybe he was padding things so he looked good. Either way, when the engines did come back on line, everyone was happy.
5. Wearing red makes you a target. This is true of cars, dresses and, most especially, shirts. Red gets you noticed--which is good if you want to be noticed, bad if you don't want to end up vaporized.
6. When you don't know what to say, pause. It will give you the time to figure it out. Or at the very least, you'll sound like you're being thoughtful. "But....Spock.....why?"
7. The most powerful force in the universe is friendship. It's more powerful than phasers, photon torpedos, even more powerful than the force itself. With friends, you can accomplish any task, escape any perilous situation, defeat any enemy--and you get to laugh together when it's all over.

I am convinced that these lessons will serve us all, adults and children, well as we seek out new life, new civilizations, new experiences. In short, thanks to "Star Trek," we may all live long and prosper.

Is It Safe for Your Child to Have an Adult Mentor?

Is it safe for your child to have an adult mentor or is it too risky given the influence that mentors can develop with your child?  I believe in most cases that having a mentor provides some much needed positive adult influence.  In today's society, there are many families where one parent is missing from the household for long periods of time.  Whether this is due to a divorce, a traveling parent or military service is unimportant.  A mentor can fulfill a need that the child has for adult contact.  I think the larger issue facing parents is how to choose the right mentor.

Parents everywhere whose children meet with a mentor must be rethinking their decision given the recent stories of the Penn State coach, the Syracuse coach and the Craigslist killer.  I don't believe that we, as parents, should discount the mentoring program altogether because of a few horrific cases.  I think that we should instead give thought to how we choose these mentors for our children.  Do your homework about a potential mentor.  Anyone who is unwilling to have a backround check may be trying to hide something.  In each of these high profile cases, there was some red flags in their past that would have eliminated them as a possible mentor for my child.  I don't believe this to be an invasion of the possible mentors privacy because more than likely everything that you need to know is out their on the internet for anyone to find.

If the Family Unit is the Backbone of a Society...

Women know what men have long forgotten. The ultimate economic and spiritual unit of any civilization is still the family. -Clare Boothe Luce

Even as the cell is the unit of the organic body, so the family is the unit of society. -Ruth Nanda Anshen

The family is the most basic unit of government. As the first community to which a person is attached and the first authority under which a person learns to live, the family establishes society's most basic values. -Charles Caleb Colton


If the smallest unit of our society is the family, the best way to fix what is wrong with society is to start with the way we are raising our children.  If we raise our children to be self sufficient and socially conscious, our society will return to a self sufficient and socially conscious society.  If we raise our children to be egocentric and always looking for what society can do for them, our society will continue on the distructive path that we are on.  Food for thought.

Adults Acting Badly in Front of Our Children

After attending several Black Friday sales yesterday, I was reminded how badly adults (including some parents with their children) could act given the right circumstances.  Visions of Mardi Gras, children's sporting events, family parties, and even funerals came to mind when I started to think about times as a child that I had seen adults going wild.  As a parent, we need to always be aware of our behavior and the behavior of the adults around us because our children are absorbing everything going on around them.  My advice is to leave the area where the adult has gone wild, or ff you can't leave atleast spend a brief time talking to your child about the inappropriate behavior that they are observing and how that person may have better handled the situation.

Starting a Family Tradition

Start a family tradition over this holiday season.  One that your children will pass on to their children and their children's children.  Kind of neat to think that something you start this year could last for generations to come and have the added bonus of bonding your family together even more.  It doesn't matter whether the tradition is something that comes from your own childhood or something new to your family, both work.  The tradition just needs to be something that includes all the members of the family.  Some of the traditions that my family has adopted are:  riding around looking at all the Christmas lights sipping on hot chocolate and homemade cookies, baking homemade cookies together (even little one's can help by taste testing, or providing them with a tiny rolling pin),  or starting a collection for them (each year I pick out a special ornament for each of my children and give it to them when we are putting up the tree).  Most of our traditions were past down to me by my family, but some I started with my family.  Thanks mom and dad for making the holiday season such a wonderful and memorable time.  Start a tradition with your family this year, your children will thank you too.  Whether it's a new tradition or one from your own childhood doesn't matter.  Just do it, you and your family will be happy you did. 

Make a Memory by Elaine Hardt

Make a memory with your children,
Spend some time to show you care;
Toys and trinkets can't replace those
Precious moments that you share.
Money doesn't buy real pleasure,
It doesn't matter where you live;
Children need your own attention,
Something only you can give.
Childhood's days pass all too quickly,
Happy memories all too few;
Plan to do that special something,
Take the time to go or do.
Make a memory with your children,
Take the time in busy days;
Have some fun while they are growing,
Show your love in gentle ways.
-Elaine Hardt, Make a Memory

Although I have written several times about the value of giving your children a memory over a thing, I thought that these words from Elaine Hardt made this point quite remarkably.   As we head into the gift giving season, I hope that you will take this suggestion to heart.

Tips that Will Help Make You a Super Parent

1) Love your children for who they are now, not for who they will become in the future.

2) Have high expectations for each of your children, your child will try to live up to whatever expectation that you have for them.  If you expect that one of your children is bound to turn out to be the black sheep, they will grow up to be just that.

3) Discipline does not need to be severe, but it must be consistant.

4) When helping your child set goals for their future, both in the short-term and in the long-term, make sure they are their goals and not your goals in disguise.  Some parents try to live their unachieved goals through the accomplishments of their children.  Make sure that they are your child's goal as well and not just their attempt to gain your approval.

5) Giving your child experiences, instead of things, will make them a more well-rounded adult.

6) Spending time with your children is the best gift that you can give them.  Put away your cell phone, and give each of your children some undivided attention.

An Inspiring NFL Football Player at a Time When So Many Are Not Inspiring

In a time when so many professional athletes are lousy role models for our children, many thanks to Mark Herzlich for showing up.  New York Giants linebacker Mark Herzlich, who beat a deadly form of bone cancer to achieve his dream of playing in the NFL, has been traveling around the country meeting with young atheletes and children who have been diagnosed with cancer.  His story and attitude is inspirational to them and to all of us.  He overcame incredible odds and never gave up the hope of achieving his dreams.  Herzlich's focus in life has changed dramaticly since his battle with cancer.  He believes that the most important thing that he can do with his life suprisingly does not involve making a touchdown.  His mission is to give hope to children struggling with cancer.  He has even inspired some of his teammates to do the same.  Job well done, Mark.

Whether your child is an athelete, struggling with a disease or just an average child share Herzlich's story with them.  It may just inspire greatness in them.

Do Classic Board Games Really Send the Wrong Message to Our Children?

Do classic board games like Monopoly, Clue, Guess Who and Candyland really send the wrong message to our children?  Some researchers are going after these classic games for sending the wrong message and are asking the question whether it is better to let your children play video games instead of these classic games.  Does Monopoly send the message that it is okay to stifle competition or squeeze rent from squaters?  Does Guess Who send the message that physical appearance is most important and that white men are more desirable?   Does Clue provide the sort of environment (six adults trapped in a mansion. a dead body, weapons, and murder investigation) that you want your child to play in?  Does Candyland really encourage our children to gorge themselves on candy and eat unhealthy foods?  I think these researchers were really stretching it with these findings.  Did they run out of important research topics or are they being paid by the video game manufacturers who have been taking a large hit from the violent nature of some of the most popular video games?  If these classic games fostered these beliefs in children, we would already be overrun with adults who held these beliefs.  I think the benefits of board games far exceed any negative message they may send.  The most noteable benefit of these classic board games in today's society has to be encouraging basic communication among the players.  Can violent video games say the same?

Save Our Libraries...We Need Them

I have many fond memories from my children's early years of spending time at our local library.  My children loved attending the library's storytime where the librarian would read them a wonderful story while I received some much needed respite from my "mommy" duties.  We also would make a weekly visit to pick out books for our evening reading time.  I think this reading time helped to foster the great love for reading that both of my children have today.  The library allowed us to provide our children with reading material that we could not afford to buy.

It makes me sad to think that there are libraries all over the country closing their doors or cutting back severely on their hours and services due to budget cuts.  I strongly agree with the idea that our government needs to make drastic cuts to the budget but I believe that the library system is not the place to start.  Today's library provides many services to it's community.  It provides free internet access to those who can't afford to have it in their home, movies and audio books free of charge, workshops to assist in these troubling times, as well as access to best selling books and storytimes.  We need our libraries today, more than ever.

Save our libraries!!!  Write your congressman, or send an e-mail to the editor of your local paper or news station if your library is in jeopardy.

Facebook Status Updates that Parent Should Be Concerned About

One of my readers, Melanie Slaugh, sent me this link entitled "10 Scary FaceBook Status Updates Parents Should Watch For." It provides good information for parents about what to look for, and be concerned about, with regard to the content of your child's social networking status. I think it is important to monitor what your child is doing on the internet. This may seem like an invasion of their privacy but, with all the predators and cyberbullies out there, I believe it is a parents job to keep their child safe in cyberspace.

http://www.myispfinder.org/ispblog/2011/10-scary-facebook-status-updates-parents-should-watch-for/

Unplug Today and Reconnect for a Lifetime

"Unplug for a day and reconnect with your children for a lifetime!" This would make an excellent catch phrase for parents today. As parents, we are constantly connected into the world through our cell phones, and computers. Whereever we go, we go connected to the rest of the world. We are distracted by it all from something that requires our undivided attention, our children. I suggest that you take one day a month and disconnect from all that is electronic and spend the day reconnecting with your children. This means no cell phones, no computers, no TV, no iPods. Leave it all behind and reconnect with your children in a way that you may not have in years. Play games, take a walk, have a picnic, take a bike ride, or do whatever your family finds fun.

The world will not fall apart if you are not connected to it for 24 hours, but your family just might fall apart if you don't disconnect every so often. So consider unplugging this weekend. If you noticed there were no blog postings this past weekend. I took my own advice and unplugged for a long weekend. I find myself energized, my mood uplifted and feeling very close to my family after this past weekend. I wish the same experience for you this coming weekend.

Note: Teenagers may be resistant to this idea, but it is important for their wellbeing that they disconnect at times as well.

Parents Here are Some Words to Use With Those Critical People in Your Life

Dirty dishes prove we feed our family, full trash can means we clean up after their messes, messy floors mean we let our children have fun, pile of unfolded laundry means we keep our family in clean clothes, wet bathroom means we bathe our kids! So the next time you walk into our house and see a "mess" think twice before you judge. If you come over to see us, come on in...if your coming over to see our house please make an appointment.

***Share this with someone in your life who thinks that it is more important to keep your house perfect than to spend time with your children and let's you know it through their words or actions.

"Too Posh To Push" Crowd and Elective C-Sections

Britain, where the government provides free health care, will soon be allowing pregnant women to choose to have a C-section even if there is no medical need for it. This option has been available for a while now to the wealthy, including celebrities like Madonna and Victoria Beckham. They are members of the so called "too posh to push" crowd.

I am concerned that even one woman would choose to have this surgery when it is not medically warranted. There are many more risks to you and your baby when having this surgical procedure. There could be unforseen complications during and after the surgery. Even if everything goes as planned, some things to think about when making this decision are: risk of infection and bleeding associated with any surgery, potential problems with future pregnancies, the recovery time for a C-section far exceeds the recovery time of a vaginal delivery and the scar that will adorn your stomach for all time.

This change in policy may come at a fairly high price tag. C-sections cost about 800 pounds (that's $1,280 American dollars) more than a vaginal birth. In an already struggling British economy this may just break the bank. It is widely believed that only a small percentage of women will elect to have this surgery to avoid labor and other unpleasant effects related to child birth and therefore it will not put an undo strain on the economy. I guess only time will tell what the economic effect will be.

Making the decision on whether to have a C-section birth or a vaginal birth should always be based on what is best for baby and mother. For those women who do have a medical need for this surgery, it is relatively safe, I just don't believe that anyone should have surgery unless it is necessary.

Two Websites That Parents Need to Visit to Keep Their Children Safe

I just visited a website that I recommend that you take the time right now to visit. This website is radkids.org. It has practical tips to teach your children to esape from a predator, activities for children of all ages to teach these lessons, statistics about this growing problem and information about classes that your child can attend in your area. I was so intrigued by what I saw there, I am looking into making a conection with this organization.

A second site that you may also want to take a look at is notonemorechild.org which is an orgaanization trying to address the growing concerns about predators across the country and our children's safety. They are seeking support from Congress to provide better laws and funding for programs and law enforcement support that will keep our children safe from predators.

The Importance of You, Me and Us Time for Parents

It is imperative to good parenting that you. as a parent, remembers to take time for yourself and for your relationship if you are lucky enough to be part of a parenting team. It is important that both parents get some individual "me" time, as well as "us" time to grow your relationship. You will be a much better parent if you are relaxed and feeling good about yourself. Finding the right balance of time for each of these things and still being there for your children can be tricky to maneuver in our hectic day to day lives. This can be particularily challenging for the single parent family. If you are a single parent, find another single parent who has children of similar ages to yours and take turns watching each others children so that you each have the opportunity for that all important "me" time.

Keep in mind how important down time is to your well being annd the quality of care that you are able to give your children. Don't just let this time slip away because you are too busy. Take the time, it is that important.

A "Novel" Thought to Better Connect with your Child No Matter Their Age

Here is a "novel" thought to better connect with your child no matter how old they are, read the same book they are. Get it "novel" thought. Whether the book is something that they are reading for pleasure or for a school assignment is not important. Reading the book at the same pace as your child will give you something to talk about and may just give you both new incite into the book you are reading. My son and I just finished reading the "Hunger Games Trilogy" and it was great. Talk about interesting discussion.

Join a book club with your child today or create your own with just two members.

Gummi Bears and Vodka...What Will They Think Of Next?

Be aware of the new crazy that our tweens and teens are engaging in... Vodka soaked Gummi Bears. If you think I am giving away the secret about how to make these liquer filled candy to your children, think again. It is all over YouTube. My reason for posting the instructions here are so that you are aware of how they are doing it. An educated parent is an armed parent and if you are anything like me you don't spend a great deal of time on YouTube. It's so simple, all they do is dump the gummies in a pan, pour the vodka over the bears, and let it sit. After some time, the bears absorb the alcohol, turning them into an alcohol-soaked candy your child could be chewing on, even while sitting right next to you. The real problem is that they smell like gummy bears. With an entire bottle of vodka poured into a pan of gummies, there's no way for a child to know just how much alcohol they've ingested. Add to that the fact that those little bears are quite addictive themselves. I never eat just a couple, do you?

Who would have thought that schools and parents may have to keep their children away from those seemingly harmless gummy candies, not me.

Unique Way to Help Your Child Deal with their Anger

Here is an unique idea when it comes to teaching your children about dealing with their anger if the traditional methods of breathing and counting are not working for your child. Writer/director Andrea Blaugrund Hevins. Have child press their palms together hard in order to "lasso" the wild feelings before they go on the rampage.

Look to previous postings on this topic for additional ideas.

Leaving Your Young Child in a Car Alone is NEVER a Good Idea!!

Although this may not be the whole story in the Sky Metalwala abduction but it does leave me thinking that I should address the thought of leaving your young child alone in a car. I am going on record right here and now to say that leaving your young child alone in a car is NEVER a good idea. If you start thinking that it is only going to be for a few minutes, they'll get really cranky if I wake them up or that it is going to be too difficult dragging the child around then you should rethink you plans.

The Department of Justice estimates that there are approximately 12,000 non-family child abduction a year. They also report that approximately 37% of these abduction are done by a stranger. Don't give a potential kidnapper the opportunity to take your child. Take your child with you eventhough it seems really inconvienient or plan on running your errand at another time.

I Survived Two Teenagers and So Can You!

In the title of this post I used teenagers but probably more accurately I should say tween/teen with as fast as our children are growing up now a days. Anyone who has had one of these hormones on feet living in their home knows that it can sometimes be a rollercoaster ride or maybe a trip through a fright house. What can you do short of giving them away? I have some thoughts for you, but most of these ideas involve you doing something, or nothing because I don't have a magic wand that takes away hormones.

First and foremost, think back and try to remember that time in your life. How out of whack you felt all or most of the time and have some empathyy for how your child is maneuvering through this time of life given all the pressures of our ever connected society. I don't know about you but I have no wish to revisit that time of my life.

Second. engaging does not help. When they are pitching a fit, argueing with them is counterproductive. Leave them alone until they are ready to rejoin the human race and then talk about whatever they had on their mind.

My last suggestion is a little crazy but I find that it works and I recently suggested it to a friend who actually cracked a smile during her child's tween years whcih says to me that it might just work. Either get in your mind the picture of what a hormone on rollerskates might look like everytime your tween/teen flies off in to tirade. This may just help you gain perspective and keep from engaging in an all out battle. Listen to someone who knows, this interaction never ends well.

Trouble Adjusting to the Time Change? Me, Too Says Your Child

Fall behind, Spring ahead. That means an extra hour of sleep for all of us this Sunday morning, yeah right. Someone should tell my internal clock. It will take most of us, chldren included, two weeks to adjust to the new time and lighting schedule. It is nice that it is light out when our children are going off to school, but it does seem to come home from work or activities in the dark. Understanding that you and your children will have some difficulty adjusting to this time change (yes even with an hour more sleep)will help. Consider taking it a little bit easier with regard to activities and bedtimes during this adujustment period.

For most of us, the time changes marks the beginning of wintery, dreary weather. Studies suggest that some individuals suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) which is a form of depression that occurs in relation to the seasons, most commonly beginning in winter. This disorder may begin in adolescence or early adulthood. Like other forms of depression, it occurs more frequently in women than in men. Most people with the "winter blahs" or "cabin fever" do not have SAD, but some do.

The cause of SAD is not known, but it is thought to be related to ambien lighting, changes in body temperture and hormones associated with winter weather. Since many of us suffer from mild forms of the symptoms associated with this disorder in the winter time, don't automatically assume that you or your child is suffering from it. After seeing the list, I think that you will agree with this last statement. Symptoms include:
afternoon slump with decreased energy and concentration, carbohydrate cravings, decreased interest, depression that starts in fall or winter and ends in spring and summer, increased appetite with weight gain , lack of energy and social withdrawal. Treatment for this disorder can include antidepressant medication, but I really support trying talk therapy or light therapy with a special lamp to mimic light from the sun. Why rely on pills to treat something that could be effectively treated in both you and your child with talk and light.

If you find the winter weather is really getting you or your child down in the dumps in a major way consider consulting your doctor as there may have some help for you and your child. Don't just sit back and wait for what seems to be a never ending season to end, when there is help out there.

David Arquette...Role Model for His Daughter Coco and Our Children as Well

My parenting hat is off to David Arquette for using being voted off Dancing with the Stars as a teachable moment (times two) for his seven year old daughter Coco. The announcement was met with boos from the crowd, and was especially rough since David was cut when Nancy's performance was clearly worse. Even though this elimination seemed unfair, he displayed good sportsmanship and was an excellent role model for his daughter and children everywhere. He joked with the audience, and never stopped smiling as he thanked his partner Kym for her sweetness and patience all season long.

David reported that he had a second teachable moment when he returned home. Coco stated that his being voted off wasn't fair, and David used this time to teach her that life often times is not fair. A lesson many of us need to teach our children in this "entitled" generation.

Don't forget to turn those life lessons that occur in your life into teachable moments for your children and remember that your children learn from your example much more than from your words.

Does the Facebook Age Restriction Really Keep Our Children Safer When They Are On the Internet?

In a recent study parents reported that although Facebook's minimum age is 13, 36% of all parents surveyed reported that their child joined Facebook before the age of 13, and that 68% helped their child create the account.
78% parents surveyed think it is acceptable for their child to violate minimum age restrictions on online services.

Given the results of this survey, I think that our money could be better spent by educating parents and children on how to stay safe on the internet, rather than enforcing an outdated law passed in 1998 before sites like facebook were created that children and parents can get around by lying about the child's age. Websites like isafe.org, www.netsmartz.org, and www.stobullyingnow.hrsa.org provide great information both for parents and children on how to stay safe online.