An Inspirational Book for Parents Everywhere

I just finished reading a book called The Christmas Box by Richard Paul Evans. I would recommend this book to all parents. The message of this book is about the importance of spending time with our children. Not missing out on those special events and moments that occur every day when our children are young. In addition, there is a second message for Christians reminding us about the very first Christmas gift that God gave to the world. It is a very quick, easy and inspirational read that I feel provides us with very important insight into what is truly important in our very busy lives.

Picking Out the Perfect Pet for Your Family

Picking out the perfect pet for your family can be very time consuming, and rarely ends with all family members agreeing on which pet to choose. Begin your research by considering whether any of your children are allergic to any animals, the age of the youngest child in your house, how much interaction that you want to have with the pet, the amount of time that you are going to be leaving the pet alone each day, the amount of room required to allow the pet to move around and the overall cost of the pet. Doing your research prior to looking may save a number of hardships down the road. There are many different types of pets and it takes time to come up with the pet that it is right for your family. Whether you choose a dog, a cat, a rodent, snake, rabbit or pig, there are some important things to consider prior to your purchase.
It is important to start with a clear understanding of why your family wants to get a pet. This will understanding will greatly assist you in picking out the right type of pet for your family. Do you want a pet that is independent and requires little contact or are you looking for an energetic companion with whom you can jog or play Frisbee? Pets that are more independent are: fish, turtles, rodents, and snakes. Dogs, rabbits, potbellied pigs and some cats require more attention.
Some types of pets will need you to provide constant supervision when younger children are playing with them. Young children tend to hug pets a little too hard or may try to feed them something that would be bad for the pet. Older children can help you with some of the chores associated with having a pet. My own experience is that this help lasts for maybe two or three weeks, and then the responsibility of the pet falls on your shoulders. Many times I chose to bypass the aggravation associated with trying to get one of the children to take care of our dog and I just did it myself. I think that the best investment that we ever made was to fence in the backyard and install a doggy door. This saves me a lot of time that I was spending walking the dog, but the chore of picking up the dog droppings is not all that pleasant either.
When you begin looking into the cost of the pet, don’t forget to include things like food, shots, vet bills, bowls, toys, cages/homes and who will care for the pet when you are vacationing.
The amount of time that the pet will be alone each day will greatly affect the number of choices that you have. Everyone at our house is gone from early in the morning until dinner time. We all knew that we wanted a dog, we are definitely dog people. Bringing a puppy into our household would spell disaster. Puppies require a lot of attention and training. They tend to chew and pee on everything when left unattended. We chose to rescue a full grown dog from the dog pound because often times they are already trained and are much more tolerant of being home alone.
It is also important to consider your home environment when choosing a pet. How much room is there for the pet to move around or to set up their home? How will your neighbors or your landlord feel about this new pet? This is a big one to consider if your dog turns out to be a barker.
I hope these suggestions help you in your quest to find the perfect pet for your family. I think having and caring for a pet, if it is the right pet, can teach your children many valuable lessons.

Update about the Importance of a Bike Helmet

Here is a story tailor-made for you if you are still on the fence about wearing a bike helmet. A young girl in Orlando fell off her bike right in front of a bus, and the back tire ran over the top of her head. Her helmet was broken into many pieces but she was home nursing just a few scrapes and scratches. Her father credits the helmet with the fact that he was not planning a funeral for his daughter this weekend.

A Quote from Mother Theresa on Giving and Doing

“It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing.
It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.”
Mother Theresa

Helping Relatives Pick Out the Right Gift for Your Child

It’s that time of year again. People are picking gifts for your children and you are picking gifts for theirs. My children have been the recipients of some very noisy, obnoxious and hideous toys and clothes. I have felt compelled to share my opinion on gift buying, so that you can share it with those well meaning Grandparents and relatives before they go out shopping. Hopefully, it will prevent some after Christmas returns or hurt feelings.

• Ask the child’s parent what the child would like.
• Consider helping out the family by purchasing clothes or other essential items like diapers, formula or food for infants and toddlers. The toddler is not going to remember what you bought them but if you get the child these items, I am sure that the parents will remember your thoughtfulness.
• Be sure that the toys you are purchasing are age appropriate. Check the label as to what age the toy was meant for, that is what the labels are there for. Using a toy or game that is not age appropriate can cause a great deal of frustration for your child. Some suggestions for toys for children younger than a year are: soft squeeze toys, large stuffed animals and push-pull toys. Children age three to five might like receiving: simple puzzles, card games, and books. Children in elementary school are ready for bicycles, board games, books, puzzles and sports equipment.
• If purchasing a bike or riding toy, make sure that it is fitted to the size of the child. Nothing can be more upsetting to a child then to have a bike that they can’t ride because it is too big. I know that my son received a bike that was too big for him and after falling off of it several times, he had to put it away until he grew into it. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission notes that most of the injuries in children resulted from falls from riding toys – not dangerous or defective products. I guess my son was lucky that he didn’t get a broken bone or a serious injury.
• Make sure that the toys or stuffed animals you are purchasing for young children do not have small parts that can break off as this can pose a choking threat.
• Make sure there are no toxic or dangerous materials used to make the toys. I think we can all still remember the recalled toys from China that were painted with lead-based paints.
• Make sure that the toy does not make an annoying sound. If you can’t stand the sound of the toy in the store for more than a minute, there is a reasonable chance that the parents of the child will not let them use it very often. My son received a very loud pull toy when he was a toddler and since my children were the oldest grandchildren on both sides, I got the inspired idea of passing all of those obnoxious toys that they had bought for my children down to their children. This practice really cut down on the number of obnoxious gifts that we received from them.

How to Fight Back When Your Child Gets the Gimmies

When all you hear from your children during the holidays are the phrases “I want…”, "I have to have" or “Is that all I'm getting”, it is time to take action and fight back against the gimmies. I think the most important gifts that we can give are children in this “Me” society are gratitude and generosity. It is best to start this from an early age because the “gimmies” is a hard habit to break. It is hard to break this habit in a teenager but not impossible. I tried to address this issue in my own children from two directions: volunteering with them to help others and building holiday traditions or experiences.
I began taking my children to help out with the Thanksgiving Dinner for the Homeless that the Salvation Army puts on every year. I started this when my children were nine and twelve. In addition, we volunteered at various Christmas stores for the needy. Check with the organization as to whether they need any help and their age requirements for helping before you go. There is nothing more disappointing than to get there and not be able to help out. These organizations are overrun with volunteers at this time of the year, and are often begging for helping throughout the rest of the year. Consider volunteering at other times of the year, the experience will probably be much more rewarding for your children. I also had my children pick a name from one of the giving trees in the stores at Christmas time. They used their own money, which they earned by doing chores for me, to purchase gifts for these children. They wrapped the gifts and sent them with a special note of holiday cheer. In addition, they began making donations to organizations that the people on their gift list supported instead of getting them a gift. Another thing that our family has committed to is raising money through garage sales, parties and events for charities that are closed to our heart. I think that choosing a charity that holds special meaning to your family really motivates all of you to go out there and do it. There are so many different ways to volunteer, I bet your family will come up with some great ideas that fit the talents and interests of all of you.

Consider giving your children the gift of experiences during the holidays. The gift of your time is what they really want. Some of my fondest memories from my own childhood are not the gifts that were under the tree, but the fun that we had as a family setting up the tree, baking cookies and driving around looking at the lights. I realized just yesterday how important these things are to children when my son (who is in his late twenties) asked me when we were going to drive around and look at the lights.
I think that the best way to fight the “gimmies” is to include your child in the giving process and to provide your child with holiday experiences. Hope that this helps you to have a more joyous, less gimmie-filled holiday season.

What You Should Teach Your Child to Do If They are Being Cyberbullied

Here are some things that you can encourage your child to do if they are the victims of Cyberbullying:
1) Tell the Cyberbully to stop in an assertive message

2) Tell your parents. It is important that you do not freak out when they come and tell you that they are victims of cyberbullying. Take a deep breath, understand that it is great that they felt comfortable enough to come to you looking for help. Most importantly do not take the computer away from them. If you take the computer away, they will probably not trust you in the future to help them with their problems. Problem solving together may stregnthen your relationship and assist your child in handling problems in the future.

3) Ignore the Cyberbully—Block or filter the communication with this person by removing them from your friend list and not opening up their messages.

Why Do People Do Things Online They Wouldn’t Do Other Places?

Why do people do things online they wouldn’t do other places? I think that there are some misguided beliefs that leave people feeling more comfortable to bully online much more viciously then they would anywhere else.
1)"You can't See Me, I Can’t See You". This suggest to me that the person doing the bullying believes that there is a level of anonimity when online. Help them to understand that the reality is that you are not anonymous when on the internet.
2) Can't see the other person's face-so bully develops no empathy for the victim. If I can't see that my words are hurting you, they must not be. Make sure that they understand that the hurt is still occuring whether they can see it or not.
3) "What happens online is just a game". Help your child to understand that what happens online IS real. Although there are games on the internet, not everything online can be considered a game.
4) “Everybody does it”. Help them to understand that not everyone does it and that there are consequences for these types of behavior.
Talking to your children. Disputing these misguided ideas may save your child some headaches down the road.

What is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is using the internet, e-mail, instant messaging, text messaging, digital images, web pages, blogs or chat rooms to send mean, obscene or threatening messages or images. With the increased use of technology at all ages levels, this type of bullying is growing faster than any other type. Here are some things that you, as a parent, need to know about cyberbullying. Most incidences of Cyberbullying do not occur at school. This should be a wake up call for all parents; for the most part this type of bullying occurs when your child is at home or at their friends' houses. There are a lot of different types of activities that are considered cyberbullying: Flaming is Online “fights”; Harassment is repeatedly sending offensive, and rude messages (this may include pictures); cyberstalking is repeatedly sending messages that include threats of harm or make a person afraid for their safety(i.e. my bff is going to beat you up in the parking lot); Denigration is “dissing” someone on line by posting cruel gossip or rumors; Impersonation occurs when someone breaks into another person's personal on-line account and sends messages to get that person in trouble; Outing and Trickery is sharing someone’s secrets online, or tricking them into sharing this information.
It is important, as a parent, to arm your child with information about Cyberbullying and the consequences that may result from engaging in these behaviors.
Future blogs will contain information about why so many children and adults are engaging in this type of bullying and what you can teach your children to do if they are a victim of cyberbullying.

Cybersafety: What to Teach Your Children about Cyberpredators

It is important to instill in your children the idea that they do not necessarily “know” the person that they may have been chatting to or playing games on line. Cyberpredators often present themselves as young children on line in order to gain information about children. Instill in your children that cyberpredators can be great POSERS. Making your children aware of the “grooming process” that cyberpredators use may go a long way towards protecting them. An instant message of “ASL” (which is asking for age, sex and location) could be the beginning of that grooming process.
Talk to your children about ways that they can stay safe on the internet. They should not give anyone personal information or post pictures. Seemingly harmless pictures can provide predators with clues as to your child’s location. One girl posted a picture of her playing soccer for her eighth grade team. Using the colors and number on the uniform, and the town she was from, he was able to track her down. Encourage your children not to fill out profile information, to delete email from senders they don’t know and never give anyone their password. Assist them in developing their screen names and e-mail addresses so that they do not provide predators with hints to their identity. Examples of some screen names to steer your children away from are: Mary_Smith, SweetGirl12, or Jennifer_luvs_HagertyHS. If someone is bothering your child on the internet, teach your child how to change their screen name or block that person. A good policy to have is to only let friends that they know join their Buddy List. Make sure that they check with their friend before adding friends of a friend to their list, as the friend may not know this person.
Most important of all, teach them never to meet anyone face to face that they only know from the internet. I understand that this is not a popular stance to take and you may run the risk of having your child sneak out and go anyway. Use your best judgment when deciding whether to let them go, you know your child best. Never let them go alone. Go with them and make sure that prior to the meeting that the chat buddy knows that you are going to be there. If this is a predator, they probably will not show if they know you are going to be there.
In today’s society, the internet plays a vital role in our children’s lives. In order to keep them safe in cyberspace, it is important that we provide them with the necessary tools and education about the dangers of the internet.