Should You Allow Your Teenager to Have Sex Under Your Roof?

A new trend is surfacing among parents of teenagers which has started many heated debates among parents everywhere. Should you allow your teen to have sex in your home? I can not provide you with an answer to this question because it will differ from child to child and house to house, but I will provide you with some relevant information that will assist you in making the best possible decision for you and your child.

Most parents who are in favor of allowing their children to have sex in their home believe that by doing this they are protecting their children from STDs, unwanted pregnancies and sexual promiscuity. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports that their has been a significant drop in teenage pregnancy. It is report to be at the lowest rate in two decades, but the US still has a rate 9X as high as other developed nations as reported by the United Nations. The Center for Disease Control credits television shows that cater to teens providing information about birth control. According to the Center for Disease Control, one in four girls has an STD. Several states report that that figure is outdated and the figure is much higher. Educating your teenager about forms of birth control that both protect them from STDs and pregnancy is imperative whether you decide to let them have sex in your home or not. Do it now before it is too late.

Parents who are opposed to allowing their teenagers to have sex under their roof argue that by giving your permission, you are encouraging your children to have sex when they may not be ready to have it. Statistics suggest that women who had sex for the first time in their teens have a higher rate of divorce (31%) than those who women who waited to have sex when they reached adulthood (15%). I would also like to suggest that allowing sex to take place in your home does not eliminate your children from engaging in sex outside of the home. It is human nature to get a thrill from doing something that is not allowed.

I have a few ideas and suggestions if you do choose to allow your teens to have sex in your home. I believe that this offer should only be given to children who have reached the age of consent. If you offer this before this age, it is important that you let the parents of the other participant know about what you are proposing to do, prior to making this offer. They deserve to have their voice heard, after all it will affect their child as well. In addition, it is important to listen to what other teens are saying about this topic. Several teenage girls have spoken out against their parents allowing them to have sex in their home. They stated that often times they use the excuse that their parents would "kill" them if they had sex, when in reality it was that they were not ready to have sex. If the boys knew that their parents allowed this activity, they may apply more pressure to have sex.

From where I stand, I don't think that there is a clear cut right and wrong answer to this debate. As in all things regarding parenting, you need to consider your child's personality, values, and maturity level when making the right decision for your family.

Reason to Rethink How and When We Have theSex Talk with Our Children

Statistics suggest that our children are developing both physically and intellectually sooner than ever before. At the same time, they are developing emotionally at slower a rate. This delayed emotional development may be due to a reduction of interaction with adults, the instability of the family unit and/or technology taking the place of the art of communication. Whatever the reason for this discrepancy in the various areas of develpment, it does pose a growing problem for parents. Our children may be physically capable and intellectually understand about the mechanics of sex, but they are not at all prepared for the emotional rollercoaster that comes along with having sex.

The schools focus their sex education on the biological aspects of sex and assume that the parents will educate their children on the values and beliefs about sexual activity. It is up to you to provide them with an understanding of the emotional side of sex. The guilt, the fear, the curiosity, the excitement and the rebellion all associated with having sex. By clueing them into these things, they may delay having sex until the time they feel emotionally ready to have this experience. Remember that a sexual experienced that you are physically, mentally and emotionally prepared for is going to be a much btter experience.

Teaching Your Children the Actual Terms for Their Private Parts

It is much cuter for a young child to use terms like peepee or weiner than it is for them to use terms like vagina and penis, however teaching your children these terms may protect them from falling victim to a predator. I am not suggesting that they use these terms all the time, just that they are aware of them. Be aware that these words may come out of your child at some inopportune moments like in front of their grandparents or loudly at a fancy restuarant. Believe me when I say "been there, done that". I think that increasing your child's safety is well worth a little embarrassment.

Having the Sex Talk with Your Child

There is a new way of thinking when it comes to having "the talk" with your child. The feeling now is that you should begin laying ground work at a very young age and keep adding information as your child matures. After hearing this, I began thinking that this really isn't a new way of doing things, but just an added twist to the old way. Our parents taught us the names of our body parts, and their uses at a very young age also. What they didn't do is break up the main talk into doable chunks. Breaking the big talk into smaller chunks that are age appropriate may take away some of the uncomfortable feelings that we get when thinking about talking to our children about sex. It may also eliminate some of the confusion our children experience when they are given a lot of new information. In addition, they may not feel as embarrased when you are talking about sex, if it is something that you have been talking about for most of their lives.