Coronavirus Post 2...Additional Ideas

Many parents are finding themselves having to fill roles that they never imagined that they would need to. Having to function as teachers while working from home can put a great deal of stress on parents. Take care of yourself. Don't work late into the night to catch up on work that you didn't get done during the day. Sleep deprivation lessens productivity, reduces your patience and increases your stress level.  These are all things that I believe to be counterproductive in these trying times. If possible, get family members or friends to help. Since my household is self isolating at this time, we have offered to help my granddaughter with her school work via facetime. This is not extremely difficult, since she is in Kindergarten.

In my last post, I shared with you some ways that we are staying connected with our grandchildren while remaining safe. Here are some others that we have been doing. We sent them on a scavenger hunt. We left a note in their "mailbox" and little sticky notes with clues to each of the next locations. We have been playing tic tac toe on our French doors using dry erase markers.  They had so much fun doing this, that I outlined a coloring book page on the doors with their favorite characters so that they could color them on the door like a stain glass window. Two things that I learned from this activity is to tape the coloring page to the outside of the door and outline on the inside (that way they can reuse the outline) and if there is another page on the back you should hang something behind the page so it is easier to see when outlining.

Keep calm and stay safe.

Talking to Your Children about Coronavirus

The world is changing day by day due to the coronavirus. Schools and businesses are closing for an undetermined period of time. Anxiety and fear in adults is increasing as this threat moves closer and closer to home. How is this effecting our young children and teens? What should we tell our children about this virus and it's effect on our society?

First and foremost, check your level of fear and anxiety. Children and the people around you will feed off your fear. Are you taking all the precautions that the government has suggested? If you are, be somewhat comforted by the fact that you are doing all that you can do to keep yourself and your family safe. If you aren't, begin today.

Talk to your children about the virus in terms that are age appropriate. Younger children can understand about spreading nasty germs. They can be taught that handwashing, elbow bumps instead of hugs and handshakes, and distancing themselves from older family members will help prevent the spread of these nasty germs. I recommend viewing the news with your tweens and teens so you can answer their questions and alleviate their fears about this pandemic and help them to understand the things that they can do to help be part of the solution.

I am a grandparent of two young grandchildren. Due to my asthma, my husband and I are self isolating. We continue to interact with our grandchildren in several ways.  They play games and blow bubbles in our backyard while we watch from inside. We blow kisses and play hand games on the window between us. I am happy to say there are lots of finger prints on our glass door. We are also reading books and playing games via facetime or skype. We are also writing letters and drawing pictures for each other and leaving them in a toy mailbox.

If you have other ideas about staying connected, I would love to hear about them as it looks like we may be in this for the long haul.

Living a Great Distance from your Grandchildren

If you are a grandparent who lives far away from your grandchildren and wish you could see them more often, here are some suggestions for you.

Video chats are the best. You could video chat and have a "meal" with your grandchild. Eat breakfast with them and get their day off to a great start or share dinner and find out about how their day went. Doesn't matter if you are in different time zones. My recommendation is to do this on their time, as children require routine in their lives much more so than adults. Another idea for video chats is to play games. Choose games that are age appropriate and work well if played in two different places. Many games can be adapted for this purpose. Some will require having a game at each location.

Writing letters is a lost art form, but in my experience children love to get mail. Mailing them a letter on a regular basis will have them running to the mailbox. Write about what you are doing in your life, ask questions about their life, provide words of wisdom and share pictures of you. We often have tons of pictures of our grandchildren but do they have any of pictures of us? Pictures of both of you will help remind them of the fun times you had when you were together. This is particularly important for very young children. E-mails are great also, I just think that there is something more personal about a handwritten letter.

If possible, planning a school break trip together is a great way of bonding and providing some much needed supervision for working parents. In addition to going on the trip together, think about the hours of fun you will have planning your adventure together.

Remember that making those times together really count will strengthen the bond between you and your grandchildren. 

Some Suggestion for Grandparents who are Not in their Grandchidren's Lives

Being a grandparent is one of the best experiences in my life. I am sad that their are some grandparents who are not permitted to or chose not to be a part of their grandchildren's lives.

If you are choosing not to be a part of their life due to choices that their parents made, I would like you to consider that the child was not the one to make those choices. In today's society, children need all the positive support that they can get. Most households have two working parents and parents are not able to attend all of those special events at school or daycare. Recently I attended a Halloween parade at my grandson's daycare and  today I am going to my granddaughter's school to share a birthday lunch with her. I see these as a win-win for myself and my grandchildren. I wish this for all grandparents.

If you are not allowed to be a part of your grandchildren's lives because of bad choices you made, consider making amends with their parents. They may not believe you at first but keep trying. What you gain will far exceed any discomfort that you feel doing this. If the things in your past are to bad to make amends for, consider keeping a journal about your feelings with regard to your grandchildren. They may choice to meet you when they become an adult and you can share your journal at that time.

Good luck.

Birthday Gift Thoughts for Grandchildren

Two of the children who call me Mimi were both born in November. So figuring out what to get them for their birthday which is right around the corner from the holiday season poses great stress. My grandchildren, like most children, have way too many toys. If your grandchildren are young, getting something that they need makes sense as they will not remember or care what you got them. They seem to be more interested in the wrapping paper and boxes then they are in the gift itself. Some of the gifts that have been greatly appreciated by my grandchildren's parents are clothes in a size or two larger than they wear, diapers, walkers, and high chairs. Especially diapers. Another idea with so many working parents is paying for a month or week of daycare.

This year, my soon to be two year old grandson is in need of a new bed. He keeps crawling out of his crib and falling out of the youth bed that was created from his crib. So we will be getting him a mattress and his other grandparents are getting him bedding. Our soon to be five year old granddaughter is old enough to appreciate and remember the gifts that she is given. At this age or older, I would recommend providing them with experiences. A trip to the theme parks (as I live in Orlando), music or dance lessons, or perhaps a weekend trip to a destination that would interest your grandchild (consider the age of your grandchild when picking the destination).  This year the grandparents are all chipping in to give our granddaughter ballet and tap lessons. We included her in the decision making process of choosing what kind of lesson she wanted. She chose ballet and tap. We took her to watch a class and she was invited to participate. She loved it.

The things that our granddaughter seems to remember most fondly are the experiences that we have given her, not the toys.

Grandparents and the Different Roles They Play in Grandchildren's Lives

With the increase in single parent households and two income households, the role of grandparents becomes more important than ever.

As I begin a series on grandparenting, I realize that grandparents can play a number of different roles in their grandchildren's lives. I will be giving suggestions for each of  five types of roles that grandparents may play.  The five types are: Daycare Grandparents, Close-By Grandparents, Distant Grandparents, Parent-Grandparents and Absent Grandparents.

Daycare Grandparents are being defined as grandparents who care for their grandchildren three or more days a week while parent is working. Close-By Grandparents live near their grandchildren and are able to see them on a regular basis. Distant Grandparents live far away from their grandchildren and are only able to see them a few times a year. Parent-Grandparents are those grandparents who are raising their grandchildren on their own. Absent Grandparents are those grandparents who choose not to have a relationship with their grandchildren or the children's parents refuse to allow them access to their grandchildren.

Each of these relationships requires different types of interactions and I will therefore address them  in separate posts. Each post will give suggestions regarding gifting, and specific interactions that may improve your relationship no matter your circumstances with your granchild.