If you are looking to the school to take care of your child's bullying problem, you are looking in the wrong place. I say this as someone who has developed bully prevention programs in several schools and been involved many times in the disciplinary action of bullies. Disciplining the bully doesn't stop the bullying!! Bullies bully because they get something out of it, and as long as they continue to be reinforced to bully, they will bully. This is human nature 101. If a behavior is being reinforced it will be repeated. So the key to stopping bullying doesn't lie with the school disciplining the bully, but the victim and the bystanders changing their reaction to the bullying.
Start by helping your child understand that the goal of the bully is to obtain a reaction and wield power over their victim and the bystanders. Check out the series that I did on Bully Prevention for ways to empower your child if they are being bullied.
In closing, I want to say that the people who have the biggest impact on the bully's behavior are not the victim or the schools, they are the bystanders. Teach your child what to do if they find themselves witnessing someone being bullying. If they don't want to get involved, remind them that they may be the bully's victim tomorrow. What can the bystander do: Speak Up, Speak To, Speak Out. For more information about what to teach your child about being a bystander, visit my series on bully prevention.
No comments:
Post a Comment