A Few Thoughts on Discipline

When it comes to discipline it’s not the extremes that work, it’s the in-betweens.  You can quote me on that.  Disciplining like a drill sergeant or tiger mom just encourages rebellion and does not teach children the things that they are suppose to learn through discipline: how to make good choices in life.  Being your children’s best friend works no better in the art of disciplining.  Not setting boundaries leaves your child without a moral compass by which to navigate their future decision making.  So when I say the best way of disciplining is the in-between way, I mean it.

Today is National Hug Day...Who Are You Going to Hug Today?

Today is National Hug Day!  I am starting a list of people that I will be hugging today.  Research studies have found that children who have a sustained form of touch each day are smarter.  So if you want to raise smarter children, start today by giving each of your children a nice long hug and keep it up all year long.  You may receive some resistance from your teens because it's not cool to be hugged by your parent, but hug them anyway.  Deep down they really want to be hugged, too.

The Wedding Dress and The First Fitting

I went with my daughter yesterday for her first fitting for her wedding gown.  That means that the wedding is a meer six weeks away.  The dress didn't fit quite as well as we both remembered and in the end straps were added to the dress.  After a sleepless night, I called my daughter and suggested that we have another fitting to try the other suggestion that the seamstress had.  Although she said she thought the dress was okay with the straps, she did agree to the second fitting.  I, like any mother of the bride, just want everything to be perfect for my daughter.  Not just okay.  Called and set the new appointment for the fitting.  Fingers crossed that the dress will be all she wants it to be.  It looks gorgeous on her either way and it makes me cry everytime she puts it on.  So I guess I'll be crying again come Friday.

Thwarting a School Attack

With the thwarting of yet another school bombing plan, it is clear that the one thing that you need to educate your children about is what to do and who to tell if they hear chatter about someone talking about making a bomb, using guns to do damage or killing people.  Make sure to include in your discussion the importance of honesty, that they will not be snitching on someone and that they may just save lives if they tell.

Clearly the best way to thwart horrific school attacks lies in the hands of the students.

Footnote:  Visit my posting about surviving a school shooting for more information to share with your child.  It may just save their life.

Donating Cord Blood to Public Bank...Now What?

You have made the decision to donate your baby's cord blood to a public bank, now what do you need to know and do?  First off', public cord blood banks are held to certain standards and therefore donations can be rejected.  Talk to your doctor to determine whether you are eligible to donate.  If you are leigible,  make sure thatyour doctor is willing and able to collect the cord blood.  You will also need to check with the facility where the birth is to take place as to whether they participate in the national cord blood collection program.  If your hospital doesn't participate, and many do not, there are still options available to you.  Find out what the options are in your area at parentsguidecordblood.org.  Lastly, remind the hospital staff during labor and delivery that you are donating the cord blood.  This may be a good job to delegate to your coach, as you may be preoccupied at that time.

Parents Gone Wild: Parents Who Let Their Young Children Drive When They are Drunk

A recent trend is emerging in the parenting world that has me very concerned, parents letting their young children drive them home because they don't want to risk getting a DUI by driving drunk.  I think this is clearly a case of "Parents Gone Wild", a new series that I will be visiting from time to time when I come across a story of a parent doing just that.  There is a saying that says something about not having enough time in your life to make all the mistakes there are to make so you better learn from the mistakes of other. 

These parents suggest that the only two options that they had were to drive drunk or let their underage child drive home.  Many justify letting their child drive by saying thaat they have driven in the driveway.  To imply that moving the car around in the driveway qualifies you to drive on the road is like saying since your baby has waded around in the baby pool, they are ready to swim in the deep end.  There are a number of options that a parent has if they find themselves in this situation.  Get a cab, catch a bus, phone a friend or family member, walk. 

Here is another novel idea for you don't get drunk when you are with your child.  Think about the example you are setting for them.  Be a good role model and curb your drinking when you are with them.

Teaching Your Child How to Survive an Abduction

In light of the remarkable actions of the nine year old girl, Calysta Cordova, who had been abducted in Colorado, I wanted to share with you some information that I feel is vital to teach our children to help them survive an abduction.  I wish that not a single child had to use these skills, but that is not a realistic view.  My motto for children is better safe than sorry.

Some things to teach your child to do if someone is trying to kidnap them:  1) they should always fight, don't go willingly, 2) Run in the opposite direction the car that is trying to take you is facing because they will have to turn the car completely around to pursue you, 3) yell out "this is not my mom or dad", and 4)draw attention to yourself and your situation for example if you are in a store knock things off the shelves.

Visit LiveSecure.org for additional advice on helping your child survive an abduction and come home safely to you just like the Colorado nine year old.

Private versus Public Storage of Cord Blood Stem Cells

When it comes to cord stem cells, you have a few choices to make before the birth of your baby.  Do you privately store it for possible use by your child or another family member, or do you donate it to a public bank where it can be used by someone who needs it now and has a similar tissue type?  A few things to consider when making this decision:  1) research shows that transplants of related donors are more successful than in unrelated donors, however if you child, 2) researchers believe that if your child suffers from a blood or immune disease that the genetic mutation for those diseases may already exist in the cord blood making the use of their own cord blood stem cells ineffective, 3) your child's chance of need
ing to use their own stem cells is remote, 4) cost of storing your baby's cord blood is high (around $2000-$2500 for processing and twenty year storage fees).

Cord Blood Stem Cell Retrieval: Is There Any Pain Involved for Mom or Baby?

The stem cells are collected from the cord immediately following the birth and involves no pain for either mother or baby.  This blood was formerly disgarded as waste and it's use poses absolutely no threat to baby or mom.

The stem cells obtained from the umbilicial cord are more useful than other types of stem cells used because they have the ability to develop into any type of cell.  In addition, it doesn't require as close a match to the recipient compared to other types of stem cells.

I would like to pose the question, why is the medical community not routinely harvesting these cells?  It seems to me that the benefit of collecting these cells routinely would far exceed any invasion to one's privacy this procedure may pose.

Using Cord Blood To Cure Diseases

Expectant parents everywhere are choosing to save the stem cells obtained from the embiical cord following the birth of their baby.   my own daughter is soon to be married and thinking about starting a family, I felt that this was a topic that I neede to investigate.  With all the contraversy surrounding other types of stem cell research, I want to get the facts on this type.  Does it cause pain or damage to the baby, how is it stored, cost of storing, and the options available to parents of children who are sick as well as parents who looking forward to the birth of a new little bundle of joy.

The great news that I want to share in this first post about cord blood is that research has shown that the stem cells found in baby's cord blood could be used to treat up to eighty different diseases including certain cancers, blood disorders, juvenile diabetes and cerebral palsy.

Some Hard Learned Lessons From the Mother of the Bride

When I got married, my mother made all of the decisions with regard to the wedding.  That is the way it was done.  Now that my daughter is getting married, I have found that things have changed.  The bride is the one making the decisions.  In my daughter's case, she wants to make many of the decisions, but not all of them.  It feels like a balancing act, trying to figure out when she wants to make the decision and when she wants me to make the decisions.  In the last few months, I have alternated between hearing "it's my wedding" and "I don't care, you choose". 

The most important lesson that I have learned about wedding planning is do your homework on the internet before going out to visit vendors.  I wasted a few days making the trip to the wedding location before catching on to this one.  This is not quite as important if you live in the area where the wedding is being held, but we live about an hour to an hour and a half away. I searched for venues, bridesmaids dresses, rental companies, photographers and florists.  Picked out the two or three that best fit our needs and made appointments with them.  I even searched through pictures of hundreds of bouquets and floral arrangements.  E-mailed the top forty pictures to my daughter.  She picked out her favorites in each category.  I am taking these pictures to the florist which saves my daughter having to make the trip and saves me time as well since I don't need to look through all the florists pictures.  Some prep work has saved me hours and hours of time.

Words of Wisdom about Disciplining Your Children

You can’t discipline kids and not love them, and you can’t love them and not discipline them.  The two must go hand and hand.-Ron Clark, excerpt from The Essential 55

Time Management: Step 3 The Final Step

Now that your child has developed their "To Do" List and balanced their Time Budget, it is time to put their schedule down on paper. If you find that your child is resistant to completing this step, use an example from your own life when you forgot to do something important because you hadn't written it down.  This example will be much more effective if it involved them.  Maybe a time that you forgot to pick them up. 

The format is not important.  It could be as complicated as a detailed outline or calendar that many computers or phones have, or as simple as a list of activities needing done during the day.  If you go with the list, you might also use a calendar to list those things that you deadlines or activities that are scheduled for a later date.